I was feeling really down because yesterday someone who I thought of as a good friend text me and said that I was "an old fat ugly cunt". She was offended by a comment I made on my facebook. I apologized for the misunderstanding, removed the comment and sked her how I could make it right. She chooses to stay offended. Though I felt bad, I realized that God was showing me her true colors, before I got anymore involved in a friendship with her.
Today I sat with Louise Hay and was practicing convicing myself that "I approve of myself." Though I was feeling like I had a black heart. I was starting to believe that I couldn't approve of myself because I am an old fat ungly cunt. But Louise got through to me today. I love how the Holy Spirit works.... out of all the books in my apartment, I pick up Louise's book. Out of 250 pages, I go right to the page that speaks to me. Louise says that part of self-acceptance is releasing other people's opinions.
pg 79 of You Can Heal You Life:
Hay says, "If I were with you and kept telling you, "You are a purple pig, your are a purple pig." It would be most unlikely that you would believe that to be true. Yet, many of the things we have chosen to believe about ourselves are just as far out and untrue. To believe that your self-worth is dependent on the shape of your body is a version of believing that "You are a purple pig." She adds, "I didn't even know who I was until I began to learn to love myself as I am in this moment."
Shanna, color your world with purple polka dots....while your at it make it a rainbow of polka dots. Polka dot yourself. Compliments from others are welcomed, but not needed. You are absolutely beautiful and an amazing woman just who you are today whether your wearing purple polkas, stripes or solids.
Oh, that brings me to a thought. I have a friend who I complimented on her beautiful jacket she was wearing. She said that her boss had just told her that she shouldn't really being wearing it. "Someone with your shape needs to stick to solids." I could not believe her boss said that to her. I thought it was stunning and I was so jealous of the jacket, I had to try it on. How you view yourself is all a matter of opinion. Take the good....wear lots and lots of purple polka dots. Throw out the bad...leave the purple pigs in the barn with the rest of the manure. But ulimately, the only opinion that matters is the the opinion you make when you look in the mirror. Make it beautiful every time. Because you are. No matter what you are wearing.
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