Fresh Squeezed Marg

Today was kind of an eery day. There were heavy clouds lingering above all day, threatening to pour but never really letting go. I stayed in the house all day, cleaning, playing with Jude, listening to music. We had made plans to go see a show in Billings, but the plans fell through. So after getting ready and waiting around, in the end there was no where to go to. It just reminded me that you really do have to "enjoy the ride," or at least enjoy standing in line to get on the ride, because sometimes that's all there is. We can make all the plans we want but things can turn out completely different than we had imagined. Flexibility. Bending with the wind.The ebb and flow of life. That's all we can do, if we don't want to fight it. And believe me, I do not want to fight it. I enjoy riding with the current-it's faster!

So after I had totally given up on leaving the house, the baby fell asleep, and we snuck out for a drink and a bite to eat. Buffalo Gypsy wrap and a fresh sqeezed margarita. I question whether or not it was really freshly squeezed or freshly opened out of some sort of package, but it was good nonetheless. It's been quite a while since I've had a margarita. Plus it just seems like a miracle to actually be able to be away from the baby. Sometimes I feel like he is my life. He is a huge part of my life, but I forget that I do and will continue to have my own life seperate from his and vice versa.

It was a nice outing on the town. Quick and pleasant. I capped the night off with some yoga and stretching to complete my 30 minutes. I did some hip openers and ab work in honor of myself. In honor of Shanna, I went for a 15 minute walk earlier with Jude sleeping in my arms. I was going to do the full 30 but then the clouds decided they wanted to rain a bit. I didn't mind, it actually felt good, but little Jude kept getting his sleep interrupted by the random drops, so I decided to cut the walk short. But while I was walking I was devoting that prayer to Shanna. I pictured her in my mind, and I saw her shrinking within seconds. I thought of "melting pounds like butter." I pictured Shanna again to see if I could see something different, but it was the same image of her melting pounds like butter. She was happy and giddy, jumping around and full of energy. I got the message that losing weight will be as easy as melting butter. Once you learn to see yourself as that slender, happy, girl, so shall you become that. I don't think the message implies that you don't have to put forth effort, but it seems like it will be rather easy once you grasp that mental image of that slender girl and begin to see yourself and think of yourself as that skinny girl. This morning;s routing was intermittent my cleaning and was devoted to ma. I was doing squats and pushing my arms up powerfully simultaneously. I saw you mom,doing this same move, lifting all the weight from off of your shoulders and pushing it up powerfully as it exploded at the top and tumbled to the ground. I just saw you releasing all your burdens. Everything that you've been carrying around that no longer suits you was just be lifted and dropped to the ground. I was happy to receive such positive messages for the two of you. And for myself, I was reminded of a message I received in my dreams multiple times over the past few years. The dreams vary, but the scenario is basically the same: me protecting children amidst destruction and chaos. I was reminded that the role of protecting children is an important one. These little ones will grow up and someday rule this world, so we ought to teach them to take care of the earth and each other. So I'm starting to understand what this dream means to me, but I think there is still more to be revealed. Well I'm ready to go snuggle up and get some shut eye. Goodnight world.