April Showers of Love, Peace, Joy

Ahhh one third of the way through the year already! April was a great month of detoxing emotionally and physically. I credit that to meditation. April 19th was my ten anniversary of bariatric surgery, so it was an exciting milestone. I have lost 30 pounds since we last saw each other in January. I'm feeling very good about myself and about life. My vision page for April consisted of "Get Social" because the most happy people have vibrant social lives. I made an effort to get out and mingle, of course that comes rather easy for me. But I am really aiming to mingle with people out of the norm of who I would usually mingle with. I'm making an effort to appreciate other people, with other likes, values and interests. Perhaps by mixing things up, I will become more creative because I have opened my mind a bit more. I have flowers on my vision page- that is a reminder to blossom. It is spring time after all. It's time to bloom. Another quote on my vision page "There is a time to let things happen, and a time to make things happen." I realize April was the month to make things happen. For one, with my Bozeman job search- time to make it happen. I have a great resume put together and have started sending it out. I feel pretty confident about it. Another practice that I have begun is Gratitude in every little thing...every day. I have been doing the excersices in the book 'Magic" by Rhonda Byrne. I have learned the way to manifest good in my life to be appreciative of what I have- and then more will come. Another quote on my page is "I'm more comfortable in my skin now that I've ever been." I have to say I do feel very good about my body because I have learned to be thankful for every little marvelous thing about it. Whether I like the look of a body part or not. I appreciate that my body is here for me. It helps me to get things done. It helps me to do the things I love to do, such as dancing and motorcycle riding. My body is very good to me. I shall be good back to it, by showing gratitude and not taking my body for granted. I have been practicing my mantra- " I consume only food and beverages that contribute to my health and well-being." More and more I am moving in that healthy direction. Which is taking me from "Fat to Fab" as quoted on my page. "This year I am reinventing myself". Invent per dictionary.com means: -to originate or create as a product of one's own ingenuity, experimentation, or contrivance. -to produce or create with the imagination: create and invention seem to have the same meaning. Invention seems to imply more experimentation with it. Life is an experiment- of good tries and some times bad choices- but it's all part of the learning curve. I used this month to ponder my mistakes and find some sort of blessing even my mistakes. -If one let's oneself count blessings in mistakes- they are there. It helped mt to lift the burden of guilt and shame. Which I needed detoxed from and feel I have made progress there. After all, quoted on my page is "LET GO OF THE PAST." Wow, these vision pages where so intuitive,so prophetic. THE ART OF INDEPENDENCE. Simply stated, I have learned that I'm okay being alone. As Kelly Clarkston sings, "Doesn't mean I'm lonely cause I'm alone." I've come along way of learning the art of indepedence- much further than I expected I could go. REPUNCTUATE YOUR LIFE is another quote that I have had great fun with. I write and play with punctuation. It helps me to view words- and things differently. I have a butterfly on my vision page. This month I feel I have went through a metamorphisis. I"m ready to fly. Something in the word 'transformer' keeps resognating in me. I looked that up today and it also means to metamorph. transform: to change in form, appearance, or structure; metamorphose. But even more so, in electrical terms -which get way over my head- a transformer deals with changing negative and positive charges. I have worked on being positive and changing negative thoughts into positive. It helps me to see myself grounded (electricty needs to be grounded to be useful- I think since I hear that term- "grounding" with electrical terms) Anyway, I see myself grounded into the earth. My feet growing down like roots into the earth and wrapping around all the important energy of gems and stones that will enhance my life. I see myself as 'the middle man' (like a transformer box that you see on electric poles) that is tranforming power between the heavens and earth. I see the strength of the earth pulling up through me, channeling through me up to the sky. Thus I have admiration for the sun, moon and stars. The light in those celestial planets shine down through me channeling back into the earth. Back and forth is goes- through me like a transformer.....transforming me. Kinda deep stuff, but there some sort of mediative power in it that is doing me some good.. A lot of good changes, transformation this month. Last but not least a quote on my April page "I'm not done yet." Selah.

heres to being alive.

okay so its only been two and a half months since I posted. lol. I really have been feeling like i need to be doing this for you guys because i promised. even when I don't feel like it. Its for the power of three. Yesterday I did some yoga. and today some Jillian. I've been feeling like a bump on a log lately. my clothes are all tight. Its hard to put on my shoes. everything is hard, who am i kidding. so more so then wanting to look sexy in a wedding dress. i just want to feel okay. yeah I'm outta words. now its just time for some action. Love you. Lets keep this up!!!

Not April Foolin'

Happy 1st day of April....another new beginning. Another fresh start! Gotta love it.
In March I was diligent to focus on my vision page. The main point was "Now with intensity" to lose weight. I exercised diligently. Spent alot of time in mediatation. Often counted my calories. My goal was to make a serious effort to lose weight as much weight as possible. I hardly drank alcohol. I often went out dancing and only drank water. This was an exciting month because for two years I have not been able to get the scales below 204. I started the month at 207 and the drop happened! By middle of March I was 194! I was sooo thrilled. Then scales started to creep back up to 198 though I was still making an effort. Hum...and ouch... I stepped on the scales this morning....204.4. What?! What the @#$%##@#$@%. I feel discouragement trying to overtake me. But I am telling myself that the scales really can't measure my success. It is only weighing the weight of my body not of my soul. My clothes have become baggy. People are complimenting me... "How are you losing weight?" "Are you on crack?" I feel great! I can't let some outward measure determine my joy, my strength, my determination. It is rather silly, I have made so much good progress in March, yet today I feel so sad just because of what the scale says. It's an aweful April fool's joke. Some how I feel like a failure. That I let myself down. Yet, I did do so much right. I was faithful to dedicate an half hour to The Power of Three everyday. Except for one day. Two nights ago I was going to go out dancing, and I went to Sands casino...and feel asleep in the parking lot. I was just too tired to drag myself inside to dance. Generally I am so high energy, but I just needed to go home and sleep.
Okay, so what.....I'm going to keep pressing on. A set back is just a set up to spring forward me into sucess.
At the end of February I kept saying and trying to believe " I have more than enough. I have more than enough to meet my needs." Well, God spoke to my heart. How can you believe that you have more than enough when you dont even believe that you have enough?" Ohhh, so God and I decided to do a little simple object lesson in showing me that not only do I have enough.. I have more than enough. Let's start with my food supply. I almost entirely stayed out of the grocery store for a month. I did buy some fresh fruit and sparlking water couple times (cause yeah- I stopped drinking diet soda). I went through the whole month without buying groceries and my cupboards and freezer are still full as if I never even went through a whole month of eating. I have to say, I am surprised at how much I have. Indeed, I have more than enough. Good object lesson for me. I'm going to continue on in April without buying much groceries. Maybe just yogurt and fresh produce. I want to start emptying out what I have in preparation to move.
I don't know how I will move, I only know that I want to and with God there is a way, because I have More Than Enough money, resources, help, etc. I got all I need!
I have been working on my resume and looking for jobs in Bozeman.
It's been a good month for me...just as the words in my journal page say "Live Powerful. Spectacular. It's not fitness-it's life. Capture the moment. Live in the moment. Make the most of the moment." I have a saying, "I am not regretting the past. I am not fretting the future." It gets me through and reminds me to enjoy this moment. Yes, March was a good month. The scales are NOT going to get me regretting or fretting. Time to turn the page into April....it's all about going from Fat to FAB! My focus words are "Repunctuate Your Life." Yeah. I'm not using periods. NO I'm NOT 204.(PERIOD) no... I like....moving on.... dot dot dots.....203...202...201...200....199....So let's move on....no stop signs, speed limits, no halting punctuations....April here we come..........So Let's dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!