Happy Last day of November!

I always get excited for "first of the months" the way everyone gets for "first of the years". I like to set new goals each month and view each month as a fresh start. Well look at me two days in a row of blogging! So i don't even need to "fresh start" in that area of my life, i just need to keep it up. Last night after blogging and listening to all of the inspiring Hannah Montana music i did some "free fun floor work". I only need 10 minutes to complete my 30 but i ended up doing about 20. I tell you what you pump up some jams and get to work just having fun and the time just breezes by. Versus "oh man i have to do __ minutes! This sucks" lol.
So i was scared to walk to work this morning. The newspaper yesterday said it was suppose to "feel" like -22 degrees! Luckily they were way off and the walk to work wasn't so bad. However the walk home, that was one chilly mo-fo. It was also suppose to snow all day and it hasn't started yet but i think we'll have a pretty present to wake up to tomorrow.

*Side Note- Mom I'm reading a book by Mindy Kaling, Shes the girl that plays Kelly on the office. Its called Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) I'm just over half way through it (its only 200 pages on my nook) and its a hilarious quick read, I thought you might like to check it out. Its making me want to watch some Office like mad.

**Continued Side Note- I track the books I read on Goodreads.com (awesome website you both should check out) and I remember one a while back that I had to track and LOVED The Dream Giver Its a real quick inspiring read. I actually cried when I read it. You both might appreciate it.

So that was Shanna's Book Reviews for the week. lol

Apparently the blogging bug has officially bitten me bc I am loving this right now. Its like talking but not bc its typing. lol

So today i wore one of the two pairs of jeans i have to my name (my third and favorite pair was lost in a tragic zipper breaking incident this weekend, I didn't even have them that long. As a matter of fact I had only washed them the once... But I digress... lol I got that from Sophie on Golden Girls and I've always wanted to use it.) Anywho as i was saying these mammer jammers are TIGHT and not in the whole "doesn't my ass look tight in these jeans" way more in the "i can't wait to unbutton these thing in the bathroom bc it feels so damn good" way. I have the indents and everything! ouchy wowwa. But to wrap this up all I have to say is Im glad i hopped back on the wagon yesterday bc otherwise I would run out of clothing options. Lol. You have no idea how bad I wanted to wear sweatpants this morning. But this is not a Debbie Downer Episode! Its a happy thing!

Well Ladies its been fun... And the mystery continues... What to do with my final 10 minutes of the day? I can hardly wait to find out what i do!

The Power of Three!

Okay I just went back and read all the blogs that I've missed. and Mom I'm right there with you. I've been feeling my clothes get tighter, and self esteem begin to lag. As well as a healthy batch of zits that have decided to form all over my face. But its nice to know im not alone and than I have you guys to help me out. I think its alwasy easier to encourage someone else that to try and encourage yourself. So praise God I have you two and you have me!

** Ps Hannah Montana's music is kinda cheesy bc its so poppy and up beat (but in my opinion that's what makes it fun) Almost all of the lyrics of her songs are about how "you can do it" and "you go girl"

for example...

Lifes what you make it
Nobody's perfect
Rockstar
I got nerve
Who says
You'll always find your way back home
Let's get crazy
Que Sera

...If you have some free time. lol

Welcome Back

It was my first day back to work and regular life after my awesome week long vacation. I cant wait to go to philly in 18 days! I dont have much to say.
Ive been doing my 30 minutes every day I work bc i walk to and from work. Okay okay its a little less then 30, like 20-25 but. I promise im gonna go make up the other 10 minutes right now. Will it be just dance? Maybe yoga? Or some free floor work? Hmmm... the options are ENDLESS! Okay See you ladies tomorrow!

Thanks mom for the Miley song-I too thought it was kid stuff,but the lyrics are quite appropriate right now. I may have not been keeping up with the exercise and blogging, but rather than badger myself, I'll just get back up. I went to yoga yesterday and it really did my body good since I took about a week off. I went to Billings with Dan for his job and with a new environment, I let my routine fail. This is a good warning signal to reestablish my commitment to power of 3 since I'll be traveling for a couple months. I was watching Joyce Meyer when I was staying in a hotel room. She spoke about the spiritual woman. The spiritual woman rises before everyone else to take time for herself and God. I really like this b/c I've always felt that mornings are extremely important-they set the day's intentions. We are all given the same 24 hours in a day, how we choose to spend it is what makes all thge difference. Today I'm setting an intention to be grateful for all the things. big and small in my life.I'm grateful for the power of 3!

I cross all bridges with joy and ease

Today was a gorgeous day. I drove to the gym but it was too beautiful to go into the dark sweaty gym. Instead, I walked a nearby train track and trail. I practiced walking one foot infront of the other on a train rail. Then, I just stood and watched the river flow for awhile. I resumed my walk and was closing in on the home stretch when I came across this bridge in the photo. Now I knew my balance this morning was not great based on my performance on the train rail. I was a bit hungover and felt wabbly and shakey. Now, unexpectedly, I came across a washed out bridge. I searched for a path around it. None. I had to choose to walk the plank or turn back around. I stood and pondered how to navigate the board. I considered the consquences if I slipt and fell off the bridge. Well, the water was deep enough to not get hurt Shallow enough I surely wouldn't drown. My cell phone would get wet and ruined. Okay, reason enough to turn around. I talked myself into turning around and heading back. But as I turned to go, I felt defeated. Such a whoos. I wished someone was with me so I could watch them go first and then they could encourage. I realized this was a challenge that I had to face myself. I determine that I was going to take. I started on the right side but my feet didn't feel sure-footed. So I switched to the left side of the bridge. My mind reflected on my elementary days in school and trying to walk the balance beem in gym. I recall its important to look where you are going not look down. I took my firt couple steps and then the phrase, "I cross all bridges with joy and ease!" popped out of my mouth. This is the Louise Haye card that Joelle gave me and I keep on my kitchen counter. I repeated the words again and again until I reached the otherside. Where then, once mission was accomplished, I felt joy and ease!
I headed back into the gym and did 10 minutes elptical with Ragge for Joelle. The song played was "Don't worry, Be happy!"

I'm Still Good

I had took my two days leave of absence from exercise since I worked 14 hour days and had nothing left to put out. Though it was gurling, I thought of the money being well spent for our holidays together. Yesterday was a lovely, cool day for a walk. It cleared my head to take a stroll then I returned to work for a couple more productive hours.
Though I have been faithful to walking or dancing/drinking for my workout. I feel more out of shape than ever. I think our Power of Three has help me spiritually and emotionally, but I feel my body has been neglected. The scales are high and my physical comfort is low. My clothes are tight and squeezing on my self-esteem.
I just keep asking myself why have I let myself go? Why? There never is an answer. Just an overwhelming feeling of defeat.
HOWEVER,
Today...I dragged my ass to the gym first thing this morning. I really wanted to go for the spa treatment of it; to pamper myself in the steam room, sauana, and whirlpool. Why I haven't hardly used my gym membership in the past year, I just don't understand. I told myelf that I would do a half hour, but before I knew it, I had managed an hour of circuit work. This morning I saw a woman on tv who was so large and so out of shape that she could only use one of those pedal gadgets to sit and spin her arms for two minutes and then she was out of breath. Eventually she graduated to pedaling her feet for a couple minutes. Now she is thin. If she can bounce back from that far, I get myself back on track. God always manages to come through with the right song to encourage me. I gotta love that Hanna Montana. I've been digging Mylie Cyrus, but I never paid any attention to Hanna Montana music thinking it was kid's stuff. Yet, today a song came on as I worked out and it totally lifted my chin up. Google the song to listen to it. I really felt it was a song of encouragment for The Power of Three.


I'm Still Good lyrics

So I might slip again,
let it in now and then,
that don't mean anything,
i'm still good

I look around me,
how did I get here?
not part of my plan,
I ended up in a situation,
wasn't in my hands

I think about it,
when I wanna give up
how to keep on goin'
how to keep my chin up
somehow I know it,
I'm not gonna give up,
never gonna give up

So I might slip again,
let it in now and then,
that don't mean anything,
i'm still good,
trying to be my best,
when I fall it's a mess,
pick myself up again,
I'm still good,
I'm still good,
I'm still good

When days are like that,
and I can't shake 'em,
it's weighing on my mind,
so i'm just saying,
I'm only human,
life gets you down sometimes

I think about it,
when I wanna give up
how to keep on goin'
how to keep my chin up
somehow I know it,
I'm not gonna give up,
never gonna give up

So I might slip again,
let it in now and then,
that don't mean anything,
i'm still good,
trying to be my best,
when I fall it's a mess,
pick myself up again,
I'm still good
(repeat chorus)


Life puts up a fight with me,
but I can take on anything,
(anything)
I'm gonna make it real,
this dream I believe in

I think about it,
when I wanna give up
how to keep on goin'
how to keep my chin up
somehow I know it,
I'm not gonna give up,
never gonna give up,
oh oh

So I might slip again,
let it in now and then,
that don't mean anything,
i'm still good,
trying to be my best,
when I fall it's a mess,
pick myself up again,
I'm still good
(repeat chorus)

I'm still good,
pick myself up again,
I'm still good,
I'm still, I'm still good


What stood out to me in the lyrics is ... when I fall it' a mess.. PICK MYSELF UP AGAIN..... NOT---- BEAT MYSELF UP AGAIN.
Girls.....we're still goooooood!
Much Love, Mamasita
PS- Uraban Dictionary states Momasita means standard for mother or 'the red-hot kind'. I'm one and the same!!

Here, but not all There

I'm here...just exhausted. I've been handling two people's work load this week. I've done well to do my 30 minutes of walking. Except for today.... but I need a pass since I worked 14 hours and I hardly have the strength to even type. I just need to go to bed.
This past weekend was great. The weather was perfect on Saturday and I got my walking in at Time Square. David and I spent over 12 hours down there....so I certainly got in more than enough. Sunday I started to make an effort, but only got in 10 minutes. I"m not going to let myself get slack. I just wanted to check in, I'm still a one third of The Power!
Hugs!

Getting things done...

So I'm feeling very accomplished right now. The other day i made a to-do list and im getting the items checked off. I'm now sitting in my beautiful clean room with candles lit and music playing. One of my favorite feelings. I just freshly painted my nails that were long over due. And there is a good chance i may be purchasing a car tonight. Going to look at it about 5 or 6. This last week I got everything done for school and now all i have to do is register for my classes. I'm kinda loving my life right now. I have the easiest full time job, I'm developing a bond with my sister for the first time in our lives, and I'm in MONTANA. I'm very happy with where I'm at in my life. Not only that next semester I will be a college girl! Also in one month I will be visiting my mom that I haven't seen in a year. lol. I love you guys!

Sapphires, Snow, Sleep

I'm gonna keep it short and sweet because my bed is screaming my name. I almost didn't do my blog, or my 30. I was already in bed with Jude and I was soooo tempted to just continue lying there...but I got a second wind. I got up and stretched, and did crunches, and scissors, and moved my body however it wanted to, marched around, did squats. I probably didn't do a full 30 but I'm satisfied with doing it a little half assed tonight. Dan and I sifted through some sapphire dirt. We aren't quite sure if we found any sapphires or not. They can pretty much be any color. We found a lot of yellow stones that could be sapphires, but we aren't sure. We found a lot of garnets. And tons of gold flakes. We'll pan the dirt later for the gold flakes and see what we find. The snow that flew in today was awesome to watch. I looked out the window this morning and it was partly sunny and blue skyed and then there was a huge dark cloud coming in. The next time I looked out the window it was winter wonderland. Love you girls. Good night!

11-11-11

Happy day! Thanks Ma for hanging in there. I feel like I haven't been fully holding up my end of our committment, but I'm still in the game. I definitely made up for some lost minutes today. There was a free kundalini class. It was the first time I've ever been in a kundalini class. I've done a video, but never a class. It was very different than any other yoga that I've ever done. It was fun to try something totally new. There was a lot of chanting, and "breaths of fire." The teacher had a beautiful hat she gave to me, woven out of wool from Vicki's sheep. Gloria (kundalini teacher) had her friend specially crochet it for her, because she had dreads. Last summer she cut her dreads off, so she wanted to give her hat to someone who would get some good use out it. This is exactly what I was hoping for. Ever since I've had dreads I've been looking for the "right hat." I finally gave up it. I gave up on dreads too. And then the hat came to me. Well I'm cutting this short due to whining baby. But I'm still in the game....just doin it!! Oh yea the class was 2 hours long! Shanna I received a message for you...'You'd be utterly amazed at the effect of doing 100 deep, DEEP, breaths a day would have on you and your effects to reach your goal."

Mom I keep getting some sort of vision about you swimming and your dad (not sure if it's physical dad or God,) I can't really say exactly anything more than that. I don't know what it means. I'll just leave that with you in love and light.
Love you both. Power of 3 cannot be broken!!! Power of 3 cannot be broken! Power of 3 cannot be broken!!

just SIMPLY do it!

I walked. If it hadn't of been for The Power of Three, I would have a made an excuse. Such as, I've been working long hard hours, so I deserve a break from exercising. But I can't let myself left down The Power of Three. But ulitmately, it does me good, clears my head and makes me fresh to press on the rest of the day. Today, it was cold and gloomy out. I headed out without a coat and wished that I had gloves on. But I just pushed it, and I felt refreshed when the 30 minutes was up. I feel like 30 minutes is not enough, but its the consistency that is important for me now. It helped to listen to a Dyer's essay on Tao about the verse that focuses on doing small things. It says 'Do great things while they are small.' It's all about commiting to doing things in small manageable bite size pieces. I think....keep if "Fun Size"....like those little one-bite size candy bars. If I Tackle something while it is small, and it will be fun. Not an overwhelming chore. I'll remember that for work. Everyday my boss ends our morning meeting with "Have Fun." I don't think she means it and how do we have fun at work. This morning in my early morning meditation I decided to focus on work and keep a positive attitude. When it was my turn at the round table to say what was going on in our department. I said, "It's a fun day at LifeQuest and Social Services is rockin' it!"
I'm eating Hershey Kisses now. KISS ....Keep It Simple Stupid. K.I.S.S is an acronyn reminder to do things simple- do not complicate a situation or task. Just simply do it. Just Do it- simple as that. So keep with it while it's simple. Break things down if it seems overwhelming. 30 minutes too much? Then 2 15 minutes, 3 10's, or 30 one minute walks in a day. Just make it simple to do, so it will get done.
We have the same 24 hours in a day that any great inventor, author, artist, athlete, or rocket scientist has in a living day. We can take 30- 1 minutes out each day to Just Simply Do It.

Play Dead

Yesterday my day was driven and too busy. It wasn't until late afternoon that I finally just stopped and took my walk outside. It was sunny and 77 degrees and those kind of days are rare this time of year. When I stepped outside, my eyes looked up into the clear blue sky to observe three jets flying over. All in the same direction, way high, flying in a v formation like geese. I had to smile to myself with the thought of the Power of Three all reaching their destination in due season. Leaving a trail of white behind them as evidence of the path that had come from. It was a lovely sight...and its rare to see two jets so closely flying in the same direction. I have never seen three. Sweet.

Yesterday, I made myself get up at 4:30 am and meditate. I think that was my salvation for getting through the day without Ativan- which I did come to work pack'in a bottle.
I started my day reading and meditating on Hanh's thoughts of "Aimlessness". His point is to stop running after goals and just find happiness in stopping. Stop chasing after things. Stopping is Peace. Stop My thoughts. Though he explains aimlessnes as not being driven. My spirit used it to teach me to be aimless with my mind and mouth. Aimlessness seemed like a strange word to be be introduced to,being I'm all about goal setting and thinking ahead. But throughout the day, my spirit checked me and said, "Roselle, put the gun down." My thoughts were thinking words that I would say in this scenario and that scenario and "Roselle, put the gun down" interrupted those thoughts. I realized it was my ego thinking how I would one-up someone given the next opportunity. The next time I see David, I'm gonna say this about that situation the other day. I'm gonna make this comment to my boss. "Roselle, put the gun down." I was AIMing my thoughts to attack given the next opportunity. I needed to stop looking at a target for my mouth/thoughts...and be aimless in this sense.
Hanh states, ' Your ideas have caused you to suffer. Be suspicious of your ideas." My hashing over situation in my mind is my ideas that I need to be suspicious of. My intention is only to allow myself the last word. To aim my mouth like a gun at a target so I can hit the bull's eye of my ego and feel better about MY FEELINGS.
This is on the heals of the day before getting a life lesson about being a compassionate listener....now I need to be a compassionate talker/thinker. Be aimless.
My spirit often counsels me with the Beatles song "Let it be." Just let things be.
Hanh's stated his own version of Shakespeare is "To be or not to be. That is NOT the question to ask." He means, just let it be. Just let. Stop aiming after ideas. Stop and look deeper at people and situations. Think in terms of Non-self. Meaning we are all inter beings, interconnected...we are all flying in the same direction to get to our destination of happiness. Let it be so. I won't aim the gun of my mouth and try to shoot one down from the sky. I will be aimless.
Another thought I had is when things offend me, I try to think of a little baby. You could look a baby in the face and call it names and he would just give a smile and coo and think you are funny. No offense taken. A baby has no concept of ego. He's feelings aren't hurt because something unkind was said about him. He just goes on exploring his surroundings and just Let IT Be.
Just recently I had new thoughts. Though I think it is strange, it was working for me to overcome ego. Now I think of a dead person. Same concept as the baby ego. No ego in a dead person. You can kick them around and they will not get angry or defend themselves. There is no response or fight back in them. Just letting it be.
In that sense, I want to be like a dead person. Not taking up offenses. It doesn't effect me. Better yet, be like a baby and just smile and giggle....and find something new to explore.
I have always been one who finds cemeteries uncomfortable. Yet, last July my mother took me to visit one just because it was beautiful. I agree it was. It had a sense of life about it. There were statues representing lives. Children playing. A man gardening. A happy family. A man raising a flag up a pole. Dead people....just being. There was a serenity about being is a place where no one was driven. Just stopped for a time rest and peace.
I'll attach some photos of this cemetery in Flint Michigan.

ZZZ's

I accidentally posted my blog before I was finished, but I'm tired. So I'm off to bed. I feel like I have to so many things to share with you guys. Until next time...

PuMPkin PIE

I can't believe I haven't blogged in a week. I thought it had only been a couple of days and then after reading through the blog I realized an entire week has gone by. I'm sure glad I got out of bed tonight to blog! I was already down for the count, lying in bed next to the sleeping baby. The after dinner slice of pumpkin pie, filled me up and made my eyes heavy. But a full bladder called me out of bed before I could fully fall asleep...that, and the voice in my head that was telling me to go blog.

So here I am. Today I actually didn't even do my 30 minutes. I really feel like a slacker. I did about 3-4 minutes whipping up "real" whipped cream for the pumpkin pie I made tonight. Does that count? Just kidding. I know. I am recommiting to the power of 3.

The other day I was walking through the cemetery. There was fresh snow on the ground and it was rather chilly but the sun was shining, so it wasn't too cold. I really felt like a walk would do me good. I was stuggling with my emotions and I wanted to get my 30 minutes in, so I headed up Pete's Hill again behind the library. I started up the hill. I thought a fresh view above the city might help bring some serenity, plus it's always really sunny up there. But as I walked I decided to cut over into the cemetery that runs next to the trail. I was walking through the cemetery and the first tombstone that caught my eye was Ruth Monteville and her birthday was November 6, 18--. At it just so happened to be Nov 6. Strange I thought. I felt it was definitely a sign but wasn't quite sure exactly what it meant. I said "Happy Birthday Ruth" and walked on. I thought about el Dia de los Muertos or the Day of the Dead. It is a widely celebrated holiday in Mexico, on Nov 2, where people party and hang out in cemetaries, eating and drinking, with their friends and family, alive, and dead. I imagined what it would be like if our society hung out in cemetaries and partied. I've personally always had a fascination with cemetaries. I love to walk around and look at the tombstones and imagine what those people were like, and how they died. Another patch of stones that caught my eye was a family of masons. They had the masonic temple symbol and some of them had an upside down 5 pointed star also. I'm not sure what the star is about. I was guessing it was the women's club of the masonics. Something to look up.

I ke

Solvitur ambulando

Solvitur ambulando is a latin phrase that literally means "It is solved by walking."
I like that phrase because I know I get enlightment by mindful walking.
Yesterday I did an angry walk. I was angry at David because he just didn't understand my frustration about having a flat tire. So I walked up hill. I just kept taking streets that took me further and further to higher altitude. I walked for an hour. I had to make up an hour because I didn't get my half hour of exercise in on Saturday. For that too, I blamed David. My Saturday exercise was scheduled to go out dancing. We had a party to go to and we would dance there. But if the party was a dud, then we would go out to a club for a bit. Well, the party was a dud. I tried to dance in the bumpy backyard on the grass, but I just wasn't feeling it. So I wanted to go out. Even if just for a half hour to dance. But David wasn't feeling good and declined to go. I said I would go out myself, but that aggravated him. So keep my commitment to exercise, or keep the peace? We went to his place and I could have done sit ups and such, but at 10:30 at night with food and alchohol on my stomach I wasn't feeling it either. So I just went to sleep with a vow that I would do an hour on Sunday.
Sunday we planned to bike ride for the hour. I was very excited about that. But when I drove my car over to David's to get a bike, my car tire was flat. So David was fixing it. And I vented my frustration, so he vented frustration and things got ugly so I walked off to walk it off.
After the walk I talked with him and we had things resolved. Until later that evening, we were out for a movie date and the subject of my flat tire came up and we started yelling at each other all over again. He turned the car back around. The date was cancelled. And now I don't feel like speaking to him.
Though he did change my tire and take my tire in to fix the flat while I was at work today.
When I woke up this morning, I started with some focusing on what's going on in my life. I like to "focus". Focusing is a practice of checking in with your body and asking it where it feels something that needs attention. I notice in Louise Hay's book she list aligments and mental/emotional causes that could trigger that physical aliment. So again, that confirms a correlation.
Anyway, I didn't feel anything is particular, but I had the sense to open Hanh's book. It always amazes me how I can open a book randomly and the page I go to can speak directly to an issue that I need to focus on at that moment. In this case, this morning I opened to "Deep Listening". pg 61.
Here is some excerpts from Deep Listening:
"There is a being call Avalokiteshvara. He is a bodhisattva, a remarkable being whose characterisitc feature is his ability to listen. He practices deep, compassionate listening. The forth traning of mindfulness is this practice of compassionate listening.
Listening is an art we must cultivate. First you have to listen to yourself before you can listen to someone else. You must not run away from yourslef, but rather be very compassionate toward yourself. ...Then when you begin to understand and love yourself, you are ready to understand and love another person.
There is pain and suffering in the other person. They should have the chance to express it, and you can transform yourself into a bodhisattva in order to listen. Knowing how to listen requires patience and compassion. And fortunately we can train ourselves to do this....You do not listen in order to judge, critise or evaluate. You listen for one reason alone; to offer the other person a chance to express him-or herself. The person is going to say things that irriatate you. He or she might express disapproval of you, heap blame on you, say things that are false. You have to be ready to listen to anything.
....Practice mindfulness of breath the whole time you are listening, and maintain this intention; " I am listening in order to make it possible for her/him to suffer less." If you can do that then negative words will not affect you. What s/he says might be wrong, it might be sarcastic, it might be intended to hurt you or to put you at fault; but as long as compasstion is alive in you, you are immunized against suffering, and that is a wonderful thing.... You actually could be the best psychotherapitst for the person you love, because you know him better than anyone. To do that, you have to take a fresh look at your view of him/her and look deeply at the siutation. .... There is a lot that needs to be done in society...but first we have to come back to our own territory and make sure that peace and harmony are reigning there."
After reading Hanh, I listened to Dr. Dryer's teaching on the Tao as I cleaned my closet this morning. Funny, I just realized there were two tasks that we important to me to accomplish before leaving for work this morning. One cleaning out my bath tub. I had some scum build up that had to go and my closet needed cleaned. It was way too messy and cluttered. I accomplished the de-scumming and the de-cluttering tasks as I listened to a more lessons on the Tao. And....what might just happen to be the subject matter? Listening. Dryer discussed how we get so we want our point to be heard so much that we don't do any listening. Often we press our point because it means so much for us to be understood. We force others to listen to our point of view when it might not have any real value for the other person to hear it. What we have to say to another might not benefit them at all. But does it really matter if he/she gets me?
Real wisdom comes from listening, not talking.
Hanh and Tao were pressing the same point this morning. Listen to yourself. Understand your self. No one has a need to. Be a compassionate listener to myself and be a compassionate listener to others. My ego just wants to be heard, but thats just not important. There is a quote that I like so much I am going to hang on my wall. "Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." Each day I want to ask myself 'what do I want to create in my life today?' Today the answer is to be a compassionate listener. I would eliminate so many temper tantrums if I could just get over the need to be heard and understood by someone else.
Then today, when I got to work, the boss informed me that from now on when I am out walking on my break that I must punch the time clock. What? Other people go out for smoke breaks, but if I walk the parking lot I have to punch out? And smokers don't? Apparently someone complained that I seem to be out walking too much and they meddled in my business. I was pissed. hufff. Okay, okay, another test in compassionate listening and keeping my mouth shut rather than make my point in comparison to the injustice of the smokers vs the walker. I can manage within the confines given me. I'm sure God will give me the grace to accomplish a great mindfulness walk on my own time.
I shall punch out and walk on. I've still much work to do with myself to become a compassionate listener at work, in relationships and first and foremost with myself.
I've got a lot of walking to do.
Silah.... Pause and think of that.
Solvitur ambulando..... now walk and solve it.

We're off to see the Wizard

It's Friday! I adore Fridays, especially when its pay day Friday! Hooray! I generally go out dancing on Friday night, but decided I will take a break from that and go out to a movie instead. The forecast in cool and windy so I know its not going to be a good day for a walk. So before my day even gets started I popped in a Quick Fix Total Body workout dvd. 10 minutes were with light hand weights, 10 minutes kick boxing moves, and 10 minutes using body strenth. I got my 30 minutes in, blogging now and then I can get ready for work. I find this 30 minutes workout is my priority every day, so in the morning I am planning my scedule of when it will take place. Now, to be so disciplined in other areas of my life. I know that will come about with a mindfulness effort.

Shanna, I'm very glad that things worked out with you the class situation and I am super excited that you are getting your own apartment. Awesome! It's not easy making changes. I keep a plaque near my mirror... a plaque that a friend gave me when I moved in this apartment. It reads "Change of any sort requires courage." You have shown such courage to move to Montana and adapt and get comfortable. You are a strong courageous woman. You are finding that strength within yourself.
You are not in 'Kansas' anymore. Dorothy felt she needed the Oz to get her home. But the announcement was 'You dare try to see the great and powerful OZ!? You cannot see the wizard. Not way, not no how!' Gee, all she had to do was click her heals together and her problem would have been solved. Dorothy was not mindful to do that....because she "wouldn't have believed it". As the Chinese refer to it as Tao... the reason your life is what it is. Why you are where you are. Well, girl you don't need the OZ, you have a great and powerful God to be mindful of. Realize that there is no place like home, but home is where the heart is. There is no one like you Shanna, no life like yours. Enjoy it where you are...this moment. Every moment. Where ever you go, there you are. And that is home within yourself.

I am happy for you, and proud for myself that you are my beautiful daughter.

Shanna, the Tao/Life/God continues to direct your path moment by moment. No need to struggle. You life Is a beautiful journey, whether it is pay day Friday or not.

Tao:

Chinese tao "way, path, right way (of life), reason."

that in virtue of which all things happen or exist


the rational basis of human conduct


the course of life and its relation to eternal truth







[

Na Na Na Nia

Today was another fabulous nia workout that was much needed and appreciated. After the run around last semester of trying to figure out the whole free credits thing I'm back at it. To make a very long and stressful story short I meet with the dean on Monday to try and drop the class that I was already kicked out of for non-payment. I was running around campus and thinking "I can not wait to get to nia". Its so relaxing. I think of it as dance yoga. Something that is just extremely peaceful. I actually like it better then yoga and not just because its dancing. Even tho that's an obvious reason. I like it be in yoga my mind easily wanders. I know that your suppose to be focusing on your breathing but your mind still goes here and there. But in nia my mind never wanders. I don't know why exactly. Even when I know the moves, this being my forth week the dances are becoming second nature. I just think about how my body feels. Mom its just so hard to explain. Me and J have experienced the wonderfulness that is nia and I highly recommend you find a class to try it out.
In other news I may have found an apartment!

My Life Would Suck Without You

It was a beautiful fall day after a major winter blast we had this weekend. I wanted so badly to get outside and walk for a half hour while the sun was shining. However, it was getting increasingly difficult to slip out from my desk, but no matter, I changed into my walking shoes and a tshirt and was ready to get outside. Then my phone rang and someone proceeded to yell at me for about 10 minutes. I was sooo angry for being robbed of 10 minutes with a bitch-out session. Well, I finally got outside for a walk and had to do 10 minutes of angry walking. Then I dedicated the next 10 to Joelle. I still felt angry and tried to think of how Joelle has been dealing with anger. Perhaps I could draw some peace from her style. Then I thought of yesterday's meditation with Dr. Dyer. Things might seem tangled up but I don't have to work out it to make things work out okay. "The Tao does nothing, but nothing is left undone." I thought the Tao doesn't work at struggling out solving problems, yet problems get solved. I felt peaceful. I finished 20 minutes of walking and had to get back into work. But at least I felt I put the frustration behind me.
When I got home from work I pulled out my "Quick Fix" yoga dvd. I bought it about a year ago, but it still remained in the sealed wrapper. I have bought several Quick Fix Dvd's. They are great for us, as they are 30 minute workout videos broken down into three 10 minute workouts. Cool. Check them out. I bought them on Ebay real cheap.

..... We belong together now. My life would suck without you. (Happens to be the song on X Factor now.)

We all need Friends and ZZZ's

First 10 minutes I dedicated to myself..especially after I realized I was mentally pounding away at my own "problems". "Why have I put on so much weight?" "How could I let myself get this big again?" "Why do I care so little that I ate chocolate again today." With the mental badgering, I realized that I wasn't solving anything with a How and Why intergation. I stopped my thoughts to be mind FULL OF THE MOMENT. The sky was beautiful blue with the slice of moon aleady beaming in the afternoon as well as the sun. The temperature was cool and perfect walking weather. At this given moment ALL IS WELL. So why the hell am I beating myself up that my girth is a bit bigger than I wish it was? For this moment right now... life is good. Silah

Then the next ten minutes went out to Joelle. I started listening to "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life." by Wayne Dyer. In the few minutes of listening he mention the Tao Chapter 37 is "The Tao does nothing, yet leaves nothing undone." Dryer said to take a walk outside (which I was) and notice the trees, the wind, everything is working perfectly and in its place yet you are doing nothing to make it happen. He used that as an example to not be controlling. Just trust things are being taken care of perfectly without my instructions...aka bossyness, bitchyness.
Then Shanna rang in on my phone and exampled about my previous post...."Shoot, Dang, Deleted". She explained how to resolved that with a 'CONTROL' AND 'z' button. Okay, so in Joelle's time I learned to just let thing unfold as they will and if I loose out on the effort I put out....just click a couple buttons to fix it....which happen to be catch some ZZZZZ's. So Joelle, if your feeling like things are going the way you want, perhaps you just need to catch some zzz's and take a good nap.
As for Shanna, my girlfriend popped outside and said, "I thought I would join you. How much longer are you going to walk?" So the last 10 minutes her and I had our own music jammin and just strudded a good walk. I like to think that means that you, Shanna, will have more friends reaching out to you. That would be nice being a stranger in your new found land.

Stellar

Today I went for a stroll up Pete's Hill. It's a nice little walk behind the library that leads you up high enough to get a nice view of the city, the mountains, and the sky. Jude and I went to Mom n Baby yoga and I decided a walk would be nice afterwards. As I was walking I smelled "roastaroma" in my mind. Roastaroma is a Celestial Seasonings caffeine free tea that is supposed to taste similar to coffee. I started drinking it after I found out I was pregnant instead of coffee. I had that mental whiff because I used to do that walk up Pete's Hill when we lived in town. I thought it was quite interesting how that walk triggered that roastaroma memory in my mind. I took special note of the mountains and the clouds. I especially love the view of the mountains completely surrounding us in the valley. I feel like the day is extra special when I remember to take note of my surroundings and feel grateful for the world we live in.

Yesterday was Halloween. I didn't exactly get my workout in. I was too busy flying around like an owl. I had a red mask and a black hooded outfit. It was quite fun to wear around. But the kids and chaos on Main street wasn't really worth it, plus I felt ackward trick or treating on Jude's behalf, especially since I can't really justify actually needing a bunch of candy. Instead we went to the Co-Op and got some real food, along with a dark chocolate and sea salt with almonds candy bar. Delish!

Today I made pumpkin bread. I'm bound and determind to bake something for the neighbor Syd. Maybe some pumpkin bread will make it over there before we eat it all. I'm not exactly sure what the constellation analogy means but Jude was wearing a star outfit today, of which he received two compliments. And at this very moment the song "Stella Seed" by Sean Hayes came on. WHich instantly makes me think of a star. Hmmm something to think about.
Stella seed

You are of the sky
You are of the sea
You are of the wind

Stella seed

Born of the sun
Born of the waves
Roll thunderous one

Rise and change

Stella of the wind
Stella of the sea
Stella of the fire

Stella seed

Solid Signs

In Thich Hanh's book "You Are Here", He has a positive affirmation to speak to yourself. "Today I am mindful to live each moment beautiful, solid, free." (That sounds like Louise Hay.) I wrote it down some time ago and was mulling it over in my mind. I was pondering what does it mean to be solid. Hanh mentions trees are designed to withstand wind. A tree will sway up top, but down in its trunk it is sturdy, solid, not moved around. He is using the anology to get out of 'up top'... get our of our head and stop over-thinking things and go with a deeper knowing. Go with our inner-knowing where decisions can be made more solid and concrete. Don't let your thoughts sway you around like the tops of the trees in wind.

Okay, so I know being solid comes from deep down.

But still, how do I live each day beautiful, solid, free?

Then when I listened to Tony Robinson's participation lesson on certainity. He mentioned that when you feel hope, or uncertainity your body is more limp, but when you feel certainity you body stands more SOLID. There is that word again... solid!

So I said today myself.

Today I am mindful to live each moment beautiful, certain, free.
Silah.

Last night out went out dancing for my excercise- at a Halloween party! Great fun indeed. I was a pirate. aryyyhhh. I love getting my exercise in by partying! Girls just wanna have fun!

Today I walked. The first 10 for Shanna and I just walked in quiet mindfulness and prayed for her. I've been taking notice of signs lately of different sorts; signs from God and the man-made signs. As I was focused on Shanna I walk infront of a sign that read "Learn to Fly Here." (I was by a small airport.) And another sign said "Full Stop Cafe." Shanna's 10 minutes were about up, but I thought to myself I want to put on one song to go out to Shanna. Pandora popped on to Micheal Jackson, "Don't stop til you get enough. Keep on with a full stroke, don't stop till you get enough." So I be-booped in my step as I walked past a sign that read "Autumn's Dance Class 2". Jazz and Yogi classes. So Shanna, it's Autumn. Keep on with a full stroke...dance it up. Don't stop till you get enough. When you get enough refresh yourself with a full stop at a cafe. Then focus on learning to fly. LOL...just sayin.

As for Joelle when I was walking and praying for her the two signs I took notice of was a sign on a building "Jeremiah Junction"

Jeremiah definition

A major Israelite prophet; also, a book of the Old Testament that chronicles his life and records his angry lamentations about the wickedness of his people.



junc·tion
   [juhngk-shuhn] Show IPA

noun

an act of joining; combining.

a place or point where two or more things meet or converge.

Then I took notice of a Subaru.

"Subaru" is the Japanese word for the star cluster Pleiades that is depicted in the Subaru company logo.

The Pleiades star cluster, also known as the Seven Sisters and Messier 45, is a conspicuous object in the night sky with a prominent place in ancient mythology. The cluster contains hundreds of stars, of which only a handful are commonly visible to the unaided eye. For northern hemisphere viewers, the cluster is above and to the right of Orion the Hunter as one faces south, and it transits -- reaches its highest point in the sky, midway between rising and setting -- around 4am in September, midnight in November, and 8pm in January.

I'm clueless if it means anything at all. Just saying it's signs that I noticed.

Silah.

Cramps!!!!

So I haven't really been doing much. Today is my wretched period. I had to leave work after only an hour and a half. Its official...I'm going back on "the pill". I cant be missing work. Unless its a fun day of course :)