I so cant wait...

Happy Tuesday! I got in my 30 minutes by walking to work. I was more mindful of my eating today, but was not perfect bc I'm doing that whole "this is my last chance" thing. Because with the new year comes a new me. I bought a pedometer bc one of my new years goals is going to be 10000 steps a day. I'm going to start wearing it tomorrow so that I can see where I'm at. I honestly have no clue what it will be but I'm guessing loooowwww.
Well my title is for the fact that I am extremely pumped to be in Philly on Saturday, seeing my lovely mother that I haven't seen in over a year! Love ya Mama!

30 Minute workout...Check!

So just checking in to say that I got my 30 minutes in today. I danced around and picked up the house and then i also did a few minutes of walking on campus. Well thats about it. Flying in 4 DAYS!!!!

A Rare Sight...

Wow this must be a special occasion... all of us posted on the same day!
Mom I totally agree. I need to refocus my ten minutes. Lately I just focus on getting the 30 minutes done. I've forgotten to think of each of you during that time.
Joelle when i went to the ladies tea the pastors wife spoke about Mary. I found she has a blog and she posted the message she spoke on if you want to check it out... Link
And as for EPIC... I think it's just a sign that this next year is going to be the most EPICest!

Epic

This word keeps finding me everywhere.Epic. It's a theme in my life right now, but I still haven't quite figured out the message. I continously hear and see the word, almost on a daily basis. Tonight Shanna used the word, just blurted it out, really for no apparent reason. Then, I was browsing around on-line. I was looking up the Hail Mary prayer in Spanish on the Catholic.org website, one of the top google finds. And flashing on the side was the "epic catholic (something or other) DVD's!!!" My thoughts have been with Mother Mary today, or Our Lady of Guadalupe as she's known in Mexico. Tomorrow is her big day. She is highly revered in Mexico City, Mexico. 6.1 million people make their pilgrimmage to her site in Mexico City tomorrow. Before her shrine was built there (in the 1500's I believe) she was known to the Axtecs as Tonantzin, "Revered Mother." She's a fierce goddess of war and childbirth. Supposedly her temple was destroyed when the Spaniards conquered the Aztecs and they built the shrine to Lady of Guadalupe on the exact same spot. It was an attempt by the Catholic Church to convert the Indians. The Indians were rejecting the messages of the Christian missionaries until December 9, 1531. The Lady of Guadalupe, appearing as an Aztec princess appeared to a peasant named Juan Diego. She told him to build a temple in honor of her on the exact spot where they were standing. He went to tell the local bishop who wanted proof. So he went back to the spot in the desert where she had first appeared to him and she appeared again and told him to "bring the roses behind you." Being winter, and also the desert, roses must have been a rare sight. He turned to see a rosebush and he cut some roses and put them in his poncho. He returned to the bishop and when he opened his poncho, rather than roses a figure of the Lady appeared. Today that piece of cloth is held in Mexico City and is one of the most visited Catholic shrines.

Well it's an interesting story-interesting enough for me to want to go and look at the shrine. We will be driving through there in January. I can't decipher whether it was just a scheme by the Catholic church to convert the Indians into believers or whether the "Mother" is always just the mother, no matter what name you call her, Mary, Guadalupe, Tonantzin, and perhaps she doesn't really care what you call her, just that you believe, and remember her and give her thanks, and she wanted her temple to be rebuilt. Either way, everyone (Catholic or Indegenious) agrees that she is The Giver of Life and Mother of us all.

Thank you to all the mothers, my Mother Roselle who gave me life, my Mother Earth who nourishes me with food and shelter, and my spritual mother, Mary, Tonantzin, Lakshmi, Sophia, Ishtar, whatever name you give her. Thank you for this precious gift of life.

Peace be with you.

Shanna, thanks for changing the background. Fall is so last season. ha ha

Friday was beautiful and I walked for a half hour. I was thinking how I got out of the habit that I was once diligent about...dedicating a concentrated 10 minutes to each of us. I"ve been just bundling us in the 30 minutes, but I do feel it takes away from an important part of giving strength to each indidual and I want to rededicated myself to giving a specific 10 to each of us.
Friday night I also went out dancing. Well now...I do get this sorta of haughtery attitude that I never get tired, never get sick, never get hurt. David had a toothache a couple months ago, and think or "too bad so sad" sort of attitude. Then, I got a tootache in the same dang place! But I keep ignoring it, so it will go away. Then Friday David tells me that he hurt his knee out bowling the night before. I had an attitud because I wanted to go out dancing. Thus, to please me, we danced. Saturday, I wake up with a pain knee..........same knee! same spot on the knee! HOly crap! David got me a knee brace and hobbled with that all day as I decorated his house for Christmas. I didn't exercise....excuse of the injured knee, but I did stay busy all day decorating and cleaning.
Today, I went to a "Om for the Holidays" yoga message session. It was a gift to me from a lady at work. And though it was no workout....just total relaxation.... I made that my dedicated time.
All is well in my peaceful pain-free world.
Selah.

Just Keep Dancing

I got my 30 minutes in! Woot woot. I played just dance. It was great fun. That's about it!

Book Blog??

Mother I Love it love it love it! I have been watching Seinfeld a lot lately. I love that show so freaking much!
So yesterday i bought a planner for 2012. I'm all ready to go being organized, and goal-full. lol.
Mom what have you been reading lately?
I have been wanting to start a book/tv type blog for a while. And I've actually started a few in the past. But like with most things i loose my train of thought.
Do you girls what to do another blog?
What i love about this power of three is that when one or two of us are slacking there's always another to pick up the slack.
I think it would be fun bc we all have somewhat different tastes.
Mom we have less then a week!! I'm not gonna lie as the day gets closer i get more afraid about "fitting in the seat". The other day at work i was reading the "Dear Abby" section of the newspaper. Its like where people as qs and she gives her opinion. Well this day it happened to be about how airlines should deal with big people. The consensus being that they should have to buy a second seat! Screw that why should someone have to spend a 1000+ dollars for a plane ticket? How about making normal sized seats?
When i flew out her i got so lucky. My flight to Minneapolis i had no one next to me and then to Bozeman i sat next to a skinny girl. Ladies please pray that I will have favor with my seating. Thank you Lord AMEN!

Serenity Now!

Serenity Now! Was a favorite episode of Seifield. (Then again, every episode is a favorite... and yep, the setting is NYC!) Frank Castanza was suppose to say "senerity now" to keep his blood pressure down... but he would yell it all stressed out. In my attempt to find serenity in writing, I had shared with David my comments about New York and the stress of it all. Of course, he, as a true New Yorker, took great offense to my comments that were anti-New York. Our conversation quickly turned into an arguement. Him defending his city and my attempt to explain that I would rather be left alone in the woods then exposed to New York City. Our tones escalated in attempting to prove our points and convince each other to accept our points of view. I stormed out and haven't seen him since. All in the name of finding serenity. Ha ha
However, I have enjoyed being snuggled in bed and reading.. something I haven't done in a long time.... I'm enjoying slowing down and pausing so peace and tranquility can catch up to me.
I did Polates for the past couple days.
By the way, I do have a love/hate relationship with New York. I love going there and I love leaving there. It's not all bad. I just feel smoothered by the chaos if I'm in it for too long. And David, loves the woods too. Silly why we argue. He moved to PA for the same reason I live here; we love the rolling hills to ride it.
I was also thinking more about the Frost poem. How the owner of the woods lives in the village. The owner too likes the hustle and bustle of the city and didn't even bother to build on his wooded property with a lake. Different strokes for different folks.

Peace be with us all, whether city folk or country folk.

5 Rhythms

I hit up a 5 Rhythms class last night. It was only my second class ever. The first one was in Michigan. Jude went with me this time and it was different than my first experience, but both times were a blast! I remember my first one. I had an organic chemistry test the next day, but my friend Emily invited me to come dance. I couldn't resist the offer, so I blew off studying for the test to go dancing. Not an ounce of regret about that decision.There was a club through the school. It was in a Judo building rented out, they lit incense and shut the lights off and there were about 15-20 people just dancing, to their bodies liking. Everyone was free, and creative and in an almost trancelike state...both times I went. It's kind of a therapy or a release through dance. It's also called the wave because the music leads you through one long wave. Man was it a workout too. I was DRIPPING sweat. Jude fell asleep, I thought my sweat dripping on him would wake him up. A lady Gabrielle Roth is accredited with creating "the wave" or ecstatic dance. She says,

"Over the years, I discovered-in observing my own body and thousands of others-the five sacred rhythms that are the essence of the body in motion, the body alive: Flowing...Staccato...Chaos...Lyrical...Stillness"

Here's a tid bit about Gabrielle. The last line made me chuckle, especially after reading your (mom) last post.

"Gabrielle Roth is an internationally renowned theater director, philosopher, and recording artist who has created her own form of ecstatic dance. She is the best-selling author of Maps to Ecstasy: A Healing Journey for the Untamed Spirit, Sweat Your Prayers: Movement as Spiritual Practice and Connections. Her teachings, for the past forty years, have permeated many areas of the culture and included many diverse settings such as schools, hospitals, corporate offices, theaters and growth centers. Her work has been featured in Self, Elle, Mademoiselle, New Age Journal, Body Mind Spirit, Shape and many other national publications. Her award winning musical recordings are on the cutting edge of shamanic trance/dance music. Gabrielle's workshops and retreats have an electric intensity that mates contemporary currents of rock music, modern theater and poetry to the ancient pulse of shamanism. She lives in New York City. "

I guess there are some great things coming out of that hustle bustle mad city. I think Jack Kerouac was from NY. It's definitely not for me though! I am in the woods with you mom! I actually like to bounce back between both, but my primary residence I feel is harmonious and peaceful. It would be difficult for me to feel like that in NYC I would think. I love my mountains. Well I think that this dance thing might be taking me on a new journey. It almost felt like fate just going to the class. I randomly mentioned it to a fellow mom I met hiking...well sure enough she goes and was actually at the class last night! I would love to learn more! Just dance your ass off!


"What is the 5Rhythms®?

The 5Rhythms is a simple, powerful moving meditation that anyone – of any age, size, or physical ability - can practice. There are no steps to follow, no choreography to learn, no way to do it wrong. The only requirement is a body that is still breathing, a heart that is still beating, and mind that is still curious!

Just like light, sound or ocean waves, a dancing body when moving freely passes through five distinct rhythmic patterns. These patterns continuously repeat themselves in a wave of motion.

The 5Rhythms are:
•FLOWING – the fluid, continuous, grounded glide of our own movements
•STACCATO – the percussive, pulsing beat that shapes us a thousand different ways
•CHAOS – the rhythm of letting go, releasing into the catalytic wildness of our dance that can never be planned or repeated
•LYRICAL – the rhythm of trance, where the weight of self-consciousness dissolves, where we lighten up and disappear into our own uniqueness
•STILLNESS – the quiet emptiness, where gentle movements rise and fall, start and end, in a field of silence


Here's another great qoute by Roth...



Sweat Your Prayers


"To sweat is to pray, to make an offering of your innermost self.

Sweat is holy water, prayer beads, pearls of liquid that release your past.

Sweat is an ancient and universal form of self-healing, whether done in

the gym, the sauna, or the sweat lodge. I do it on the dance floor.

The more you dance, the more you sweat.

The more you sweat, the more you pray.

The more you pray, the closer you come to ecstasy."



Gabrielle Roth

Just Push Pause

I've been so busy ....doing the pre-holiday shuffle. Spent last weekend in New York walking Time Square. I think the bright lights are fun, but I don't care for the New York hustle and bustle. It's missing peace and joy.... not an ounce of sereness. I have missed some exercise days.... I hate missing them.
I need a revival! I have a plaque in my livingroom... "If you don't PAUSE...good things will never catch up to you." I need some pauses.
Maybe that is why I don't like NYC...there is no pauses. If you dare pause, you will get honked at, yelled at or shoved. Everybody is in such a hurry to get to something, that good things never catch up to them. A city of angry, aggitated people.
I will take a walk in the woods over a walk in the city.

Robert Frost understood the need for pauses and wrote a very famous poem.



Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

I remembering discussing this poem in high school. There is a lot of meaning about life in these serene woods. "Miles to go before I sleep." Means I have a lot of life to live before I die.
Yes, I have a lot of life.....and I need to push pause much more often to enjoy it to the fullest.

Diciembre!

Ayyyyyy aaahhh! New month. And only 8 minutes and 2 hours til the strike of midnight which is the day of birth 28 years ago. However I wasn't born until 5:32 am or was it 5:33? Happy to still be around Earth, kicking it, breathing, walking around and feeling good. I feel like the stars are aligned in my favor. I feel blessed to be a Sagittarius because the ruling planet Jupiter, is one bad mo-fo. It's big, and it's lucky with a lot of rings. So even though it's exciting to celebrate my bday tomorrow...I have a a few more weeks of Sag reign time.

We put up the Christmas tree you made for us last year Ma! Acutally it's lit up and beautiful right now and Jude is sleeping literally less than 2 feet away from it. Sound asleep like a little angel. My heart really goes out this gal who gave up her baby for adoption. His middle name was Jude.

Today Jude and I officially listened to "Hey Jude" for the first time. His grandpa Spud and Uncle Randy love to sing a line of the chorus every time they see him, but today we really listened to the song. I actually had no idea the song was actually about what it is about. I like the line " don't carry the world upon your shoulders" Goodnight love you ma and sis!

Happy First Day of December!

Wahoo! 3 days! So today was Nia. It was awesome. I've missed it, it's been two weeks since we last did it bc it was canceled and then it was Thanksgiving. Um... Im tired and i dont know what else to say so... The last 3 nights I've went to bed in the eight o'clock hour and i LOVE it! So I'll probably do it agian tonight. Thankfully tomorrow is my last 6am for the week!

Happy Last day of November!

I always get excited for "first of the months" the way everyone gets for "first of the years". I like to set new goals each month and view each month as a fresh start. Well look at me two days in a row of blogging! So i don't even need to "fresh start" in that area of my life, i just need to keep it up. Last night after blogging and listening to all of the inspiring Hannah Montana music i did some "free fun floor work". I only need 10 minutes to complete my 30 but i ended up doing about 20. I tell you what you pump up some jams and get to work just having fun and the time just breezes by. Versus "oh man i have to do __ minutes! This sucks" lol.
So i was scared to walk to work this morning. The newspaper yesterday said it was suppose to "feel" like -22 degrees! Luckily they were way off and the walk to work wasn't so bad. However the walk home, that was one chilly mo-fo. It was also suppose to snow all day and it hasn't started yet but i think we'll have a pretty present to wake up to tomorrow.

*Side Note- Mom I'm reading a book by Mindy Kaling, Shes the girl that plays Kelly on the office. Its called Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) I'm just over half way through it (its only 200 pages on my nook) and its a hilarious quick read, I thought you might like to check it out. Its making me want to watch some Office like mad.

**Continued Side Note- I track the books I read on Goodreads.com (awesome website you both should check out) and I remember one a while back that I had to track and LOVED The Dream Giver Its a real quick inspiring read. I actually cried when I read it. You both might appreciate it.

So that was Shanna's Book Reviews for the week. lol

Apparently the blogging bug has officially bitten me bc I am loving this right now. Its like talking but not bc its typing. lol

So today i wore one of the two pairs of jeans i have to my name (my third and favorite pair was lost in a tragic zipper breaking incident this weekend, I didn't even have them that long. As a matter of fact I had only washed them the once... But I digress... lol I got that from Sophie on Golden Girls and I've always wanted to use it.) Anywho as i was saying these mammer jammers are TIGHT and not in the whole "doesn't my ass look tight in these jeans" way more in the "i can't wait to unbutton these thing in the bathroom bc it feels so damn good" way. I have the indents and everything! ouchy wowwa. But to wrap this up all I have to say is Im glad i hopped back on the wagon yesterday bc otherwise I would run out of clothing options. Lol. You have no idea how bad I wanted to wear sweatpants this morning. But this is not a Debbie Downer Episode! Its a happy thing!

Well Ladies its been fun... And the mystery continues... What to do with my final 10 minutes of the day? I can hardly wait to find out what i do!

The Power of Three!

Okay I just went back and read all the blogs that I've missed. and Mom I'm right there with you. I've been feeling my clothes get tighter, and self esteem begin to lag. As well as a healthy batch of zits that have decided to form all over my face. But its nice to know im not alone and than I have you guys to help me out. I think its alwasy easier to encourage someone else that to try and encourage yourself. So praise God I have you two and you have me!

** Ps Hannah Montana's music is kinda cheesy bc its so poppy and up beat (but in my opinion that's what makes it fun) Almost all of the lyrics of her songs are about how "you can do it" and "you go girl"

for example...

Lifes what you make it
Nobody's perfect
Rockstar
I got nerve
Who says
You'll always find your way back home
Let's get crazy
Que Sera

...If you have some free time. lol

Welcome Back

It was my first day back to work and regular life after my awesome week long vacation. I cant wait to go to philly in 18 days! I dont have much to say.
Ive been doing my 30 minutes every day I work bc i walk to and from work. Okay okay its a little less then 30, like 20-25 but. I promise im gonna go make up the other 10 minutes right now. Will it be just dance? Maybe yoga? Or some free floor work? Hmmm... the options are ENDLESS! Okay See you ladies tomorrow!

Thanks mom for the Miley song-I too thought it was kid stuff,but the lyrics are quite appropriate right now. I may have not been keeping up with the exercise and blogging, but rather than badger myself, I'll just get back up. I went to yoga yesterday and it really did my body good since I took about a week off. I went to Billings with Dan for his job and with a new environment, I let my routine fail. This is a good warning signal to reestablish my commitment to power of 3 since I'll be traveling for a couple months. I was watching Joyce Meyer when I was staying in a hotel room. She spoke about the spiritual woman. The spiritual woman rises before everyone else to take time for herself and God. I really like this b/c I've always felt that mornings are extremely important-they set the day's intentions. We are all given the same 24 hours in a day, how we choose to spend it is what makes all thge difference. Today I'm setting an intention to be grateful for all the things. big and small in my life.I'm grateful for the power of 3!

I cross all bridges with joy and ease

Today was a gorgeous day. I drove to the gym but it was too beautiful to go into the dark sweaty gym. Instead, I walked a nearby train track and trail. I practiced walking one foot infront of the other on a train rail. Then, I just stood and watched the river flow for awhile. I resumed my walk and was closing in on the home stretch when I came across this bridge in the photo. Now I knew my balance this morning was not great based on my performance on the train rail. I was a bit hungover and felt wabbly and shakey. Now, unexpectedly, I came across a washed out bridge. I searched for a path around it. None. I had to choose to walk the plank or turn back around. I stood and pondered how to navigate the board. I considered the consquences if I slipt and fell off the bridge. Well, the water was deep enough to not get hurt Shallow enough I surely wouldn't drown. My cell phone would get wet and ruined. Okay, reason enough to turn around. I talked myself into turning around and heading back. But as I turned to go, I felt defeated. Such a whoos. I wished someone was with me so I could watch them go first and then they could encourage. I realized this was a challenge that I had to face myself. I determine that I was going to take. I started on the right side but my feet didn't feel sure-footed. So I switched to the left side of the bridge. My mind reflected on my elementary days in school and trying to walk the balance beem in gym. I recall its important to look where you are going not look down. I took my firt couple steps and then the phrase, "I cross all bridges with joy and ease!" popped out of my mouth. This is the Louise Haye card that Joelle gave me and I keep on my kitchen counter. I repeated the words again and again until I reached the otherside. Where then, once mission was accomplished, I felt joy and ease!
I headed back into the gym and did 10 minutes elptical with Ragge for Joelle. The song played was "Don't worry, Be happy!"

I'm Still Good

I had took my two days leave of absence from exercise since I worked 14 hour days and had nothing left to put out. Though it was gurling, I thought of the money being well spent for our holidays together. Yesterday was a lovely, cool day for a walk. It cleared my head to take a stroll then I returned to work for a couple more productive hours.
Though I have been faithful to walking or dancing/drinking for my workout. I feel more out of shape than ever. I think our Power of Three has help me spiritually and emotionally, but I feel my body has been neglected. The scales are high and my physical comfort is low. My clothes are tight and squeezing on my self-esteem.
I just keep asking myself why have I let myself go? Why? There never is an answer. Just an overwhelming feeling of defeat.
HOWEVER,
Today...I dragged my ass to the gym first thing this morning. I really wanted to go for the spa treatment of it; to pamper myself in the steam room, sauana, and whirlpool. Why I haven't hardly used my gym membership in the past year, I just don't understand. I told myelf that I would do a half hour, but before I knew it, I had managed an hour of circuit work. This morning I saw a woman on tv who was so large and so out of shape that she could only use one of those pedal gadgets to sit and spin her arms for two minutes and then she was out of breath. Eventually she graduated to pedaling her feet for a couple minutes. Now she is thin. If she can bounce back from that far, I get myself back on track. God always manages to come through with the right song to encourage me. I gotta love that Hanna Montana. I've been digging Mylie Cyrus, but I never paid any attention to Hanna Montana music thinking it was kid's stuff. Yet, today a song came on as I worked out and it totally lifted my chin up. Google the song to listen to it. I really felt it was a song of encouragment for The Power of Three.


I'm Still Good lyrics

So I might slip again,
let it in now and then,
that don't mean anything,
i'm still good

I look around me,
how did I get here?
not part of my plan,
I ended up in a situation,
wasn't in my hands

I think about it,
when I wanna give up
how to keep on goin'
how to keep my chin up
somehow I know it,
I'm not gonna give up,
never gonna give up

So I might slip again,
let it in now and then,
that don't mean anything,
i'm still good,
trying to be my best,
when I fall it's a mess,
pick myself up again,
I'm still good,
I'm still good,
I'm still good

When days are like that,
and I can't shake 'em,
it's weighing on my mind,
so i'm just saying,
I'm only human,
life gets you down sometimes

I think about it,
when I wanna give up
how to keep on goin'
how to keep my chin up
somehow I know it,
I'm not gonna give up,
never gonna give up

So I might slip again,
let it in now and then,
that don't mean anything,
i'm still good,
trying to be my best,
when I fall it's a mess,
pick myself up again,
I'm still good
(repeat chorus)


Life puts up a fight with me,
but I can take on anything,
(anything)
I'm gonna make it real,
this dream I believe in

I think about it,
when I wanna give up
how to keep on goin'
how to keep my chin up
somehow I know it,
I'm not gonna give up,
never gonna give up,
oh oh

So I might slip again,
let it in now and then,
that don't mean anything,
i'm still good,
trying to be my best,
when I fall it's a mess,
pick myself up again,
I'm still good
(repeat chorus)

I'm still good,
pick myself up again,
I'm still good,
I'm still, I'm still good


What stood out to me in the lyrics is ... when I fall it' a mess.. PICK MYSELF UP AGAIN..... NOT---- BEAT MYSELF UP AGAIN.
Girls.....we're still goooooood!
Much Love, Mamasita
PS- Uraban Dictionary states Momasita means standard for mother or 'the red-hot kind'. I'm one and the same!!

Here, but not all There

I'm here...just exhausted. I've been handling two people's work load this week. I've done well to do my 30 minutes of walking. Except for today.... but I need a pass since I worked 14 hours and I hardly have the strength to even type. I just need to go to bed.
This past weekend was great. The weather was perfect on Saturday and I got my walking in at Time Square. David and I spent over 12 hours down there....so I certainly got in more than enough. Sunday I started to make an effort, but only got in 10 minutes. I"m not going to let myself get slack. I just wanted to check in, I'm still a one third of The Power!
Hugs!

Getting things done...

So I'm feeling very accomplished right now. The other day i made a to-do list and im getting the items checked off. I'm now sitting in my beautiful clean room with candles lit and music playing. One of my favorite feelings. I just freshly painted my nails that were long over due. And there is a good chance i may be purchasing a car tonight. Going to look at it about 5 or 6. This last week I got everything done for school and now all i have to do is register for my classes. I'm kinda loving my life right now. I have the easiest full time job, I'm developing a bond with my sister for the first time in our lives, and I'm in MONTANA. I'm very happy with where I'm at in my life. Not only that next semester I will be a college girl! Also in one month I will be visiting my mom that I haven't seen in a year. lol. I love you guys!

Sapphires, Snow, Sleep

I'm gonna keep it short and sweet because my bed is screaming my name. I almost didn't do my blog, or my 30. I was already in bed with Jude and I was soooo tempted to just continue lying there...but I got a second wind. I got up and stretched, and did crunches, and scissors, and moved my body however it wanted to, marched around, did squats. I probably didn't do a full 30 but I'm satisfied with doing it a little half assed tonight. Dan and I sifted through some sapphire dirt. We aren't quite sure if we found any sapphires or not. They can pretty much be any color. We found a lot of yellow stones that could be sapphires, but we aren't sure. We found a lot of garnets. And tons of gold flakes. We'll pan the dirt later for the gold flakes and see what we find. The snow that flew in today was awesome to watch. I looked out the window this morning and it was partly sunny and blue skyed and then there was a huge dark cloud coming in. The next time I looked out the window it was winter wonderland. Love you girls. Good night!

11-11-11

Happy day! Thanks Ma for hanging in there. I feel like I haven't been fully holding up my end of our committment, but I'm still in the game. I definitely made up for some lost minutes today. There was a free kundalini class. It was the first time I've ever been in a kundalini class. I've done a video, but never a class. It was very different than any other yoga that I've ever done. It was fun to try something totally new. There was a lot of chanting, and "breaths of fire." The teacher had a beautiful hat she gave to me, woven out of wool from Vicki's sheep. Gloria (kundalini teacher) had her friend specially crochet it for her, because she had dreads. Last summer she cut her dreads off, so she wanted to give her hat to someone who would get some good use out it. This is exactly what I was hoping for. Ever since I've had dreads I've been looking for the "right hat." I finally gave up it. I gave up on dreads too. And then the hat came to me. Well I'm cutting this short due to whining baby. But I'm still in the game....just doin it!! Oh yea the class was 2 hours long! Shanna I received a message for you...'You'd be utterly amazed at the effect of doing 100 deep, DEEP, breaths a day would have on you and your effects to reach your goal."

Mom I keep getting some sort of vision about you swimming and your dad (not sure if it's physical dad or God,) I can't really say exactly anything more than that. I don't know what it means. I'll just leave that with you in love and light.
Love you both. Power of 3 cannot be broken!!! Power of 3 cannot be broken! Power of 3 cannot be broken!!

just SIMPLY do it!

I walked. If it hadn't of been for The Power of Three, I would have a made an excuse. Such as, I've been working long hard hours, so I deserve a break from exercising. But I can't let myself left down The Power of Three. But ulitmately, it does me good, clears my head and makes me fresh to press on the rest of the day. Today, it was cold and gloomy out. I headed out without a coat and wished that I had gloves on. But I just pushed it, and I felt refreshed when the 30 minutes was up. I feel like 30 minutes is not enough, but its the consistency that is important for me now. It helped to listen to a Dyer's essay on Tao about the verse that focuses on doing small things. It says 'Do great things while they are small.' It's all about commiting to doing things in small manageable bite size pieces. I think....keep if "Fun Size"....like those little one-bite size candy bars. If I Tackle something while it is small, and it will be fun. Not an overwhelming chore. I'll remember that for work. Everyday my boss ends our morning meeting with "Have Fun." I don't think she means it and how do we have fun at work. This morning in my early morning meditation I decided to focus on work and keep a positive attitude. When it was my turn at the round table to say what was going on in our department. I said, "It's a fun day at LifeQuest and Social Services is rockin' it!"
I'm eating Hershey Kisses now. KISS ....Keep It Simple Stupid. K.I.S.S is an acronyn reminder to do things simple- do not complicate a situation or task. Just simply do it. Just Do it- simple as that. So keep with it while it's simple. Break things down if it seems overwhelming. 30 minutes too much? Then 2 15 minutes, 3 10's, or 30 one minute walks in a day. Just make it simple to do, so it will get done.
We have the same 24 hours in a day that any great inventor, author, artist, athlete, or rocket scientist has in a living day. We can take 30- 1 minutes out each day to Just Simply Do It.

Play Dead

Yesterday my day was driven and too busy. It wasn't until late afternoon that I finally just stopped and took my walk outside. It was sunny and 77 degrees and those kind of days are rare this time of year. When I stepped outside, my eyes looked up into the clear blue sky to observe three jets flying over. All in the same direction, way high, flying in a v formation like geese. I had to smile to myself with the thought of the Power of Three all reaching their destination in due season. Leaving a trail of white behind them as evidence of the path that had come from. It was a lovely sight...and its rare to see two jets so closely flying in the same direction. I have never seen three. Sweet.

Yesterday, I made myself get up at 4:30 am and meditate. I think that was my salvation for getting through the day without Ativan- which I did come to work pack'in a bottle.
I started my day reading and meditating on Hanh's thoughts of "Aimlessness". His point is to stop running after goals and just find happiness in stopping. Stop chasing after things. Stopping is Peace. Stop My thoughts. Though he explains aimlessnes as not being driven. My spirit used it to teach me to be aimless with my mind and mouth. Aimlessness seemed like a strange word to be be introduced to,being I'm all about goal setting and thinking ahead. But throughout the day, my spirit checked me and said, "Roselle, put the gun down." My thoughts were thinking words that I would say in this scenario and that scenario and "Roselle, put the gun down" interrupted those thoughts. I realized it was my ego thinking how I would one-up someone given the next opportunity. The next time I see David, I'm gonna say this about that situation the other day. I'm gonna make this comment to my boss. "Roselle, put the gun down." I was AIMing my thoughts to attack given the next opportunity. I needed to stop looking at a target for my mouth/thoughts...and be aimless in this sense.
Hanh states, ' Your ideas have caused you to suffer. Be suspicious of your ideas." My hashing over situation in my mind is my ideas that I need to be suspicious of. My intention is only to allow myself the last word. To aim my mouth like a gun at a target so I can hit the bull's eye of my ego and feel better about MY FEELINGS.
This is on the heals of the day before getting a life lesson about being a compassionate listener....now I need to be a compassionate talker/thinker. Be aimless.
My spirit often counsels me with the Beatles song "Let it be." Just let things be.
Hanh's stated his own version of Shakespeare is "To be or not to be. That is NOT the question to ask." He means, just let it be. Just let. Stop aiming after ideas. Stop and look deeper at people and situations. Think in terms of Non-self. Meaning we are all inter beings, interconnected...we are all flying in the same direction to get to our destination of happiness. Let it be so. I won't aim the gun of my mouth and try to shoot one down from the sky. I will be aimless.
Another thought I had is when things offend me, I try to think of a little baby. You could look a baby in the face and call it names and he would just give a smile and coo and think you are funny. No offense taken. A baby has no concept of ego. He's feelings aren't hurt because something unkind was said about him. He just goes on exploring his surroundings and just Let IT Be.
Just recently I had new thoughts. Though I think it is strange, it was working for me to overcome ego. Now I think of a dead person. Same concept as the baby ego. No ego in a dead person. You can kick them around and they will not get angry or defend themselves. There is no response or fight back in them. Just letting it be.
In that sense, I want to be like a dead person. Not taking up offenses. It doesn't effect me. Better yet, be like a baby and just smile and giggle....and find something new to explore.
I have always been one who finds cemeteries uncomfortable. Yet, last July my mother took me to visit one just because it was beautiful. I agree it was. It had a sense of life about it. There were statues representing lives. Children playing. A man gardening. A happy family. A man raising a flag up a pole. Dead people....just being. There was a serenity about being is a place where no one was driven. Just stopped for a time rest and peace.
I'll attach some photos of this cemetery in Flint Michigan.

ZZZ's

I accidentally posted my blog before I was finished, but I'm tired. So I'm off to bed. I feel like I have to so many things to share with you guys. Until next time...

PuMPkin PIE

I can't believe I haven't blogged in a week. I thought it had only been a couple of days and then after reading through the blog I realized an entire week has gone by. I'm sure glad I got out of bed tonight to blog! I was already down for the count, lying in bed next to the sleeping baby. The after dinner slice of pumpkin pie, filled me up and made my eyes heavy. But a full bladder called me out of bed before I could fully fall asleep...that, and the voice in my head that was telling me to go blog.

So here I am. Today I actually didn't even do my 30 minutes. I really feel like a slacker. I did about 3-4 minutes whipping up "real" whipped cream for the pumpkin pie I made tonight. Does that count? Just kidding. I know. I am recommiting to the power of 3.

The other day I was walking through the cemetery. There was fresh snow on the ground and it was rather chilly but the sun was shining, so it wasn't too cold. I really felt like a walk would do me good. I was stuggling with my emotions and I wanted to get my 30 minutes in, so I headed up Pete's Hill again behind the library. I started up the hill. I thought a fresh view above the city might help bring some serenity, plus it's always really sunny up there. But as I walked I decided to cut over into the cemetery that runs next to the trail. I was walking through the cemetery and the first tombstone that caught my eye was Ruth Monteville and her birthday was November 6, 18--. At it just so happened to be Nov 6. Strange I thought. I felt it was definitely a sign but wasn't quite sure exactly what it meant. I said "Happy Birthday Ruth" and walked on. I thought about el Dia de los Muertos or the Day of the Dead. It is a widely celebrated holiday in Mexico, on Nov 2, where people party and hang out in cemetaries, eating and drinking, with their friends and family, alive, and dead. I imagined what it would be like if our society hung out in cemetaries and partied. I've personally always had a fascination with cemetaries. I love to walk around and look at the tombstones and imagine what those people were like, and how they died. Another patch of stones that caught my eye was a family of masons. They had the masonic temple symbol and some of them had an upside down 5 pointed star also. I'm not sure what the star is about. I was guessing it was the women's club of the masonics. Something to look up.

I ke

Solvitur ambulando

Solvitur ambulando is a latin phrase that literally means "It is solved by walking."
I like that phrase because I know I get enlightment by mindful walking.
Yesterday I did an angry walk. I was angry at David because he just didn't understand my frustration about having a flat tire. So I walked up hill. I just kept taking streets that took me further and further to higher altitude. I walked for an hour. I had to make up an hour because I didn't get my half hour of exercise in on Saturday. For that too, I blamed David. My Saturday exercise was scheduled to go out dancing. We had a party to go to and we would dance there. But if the party was a dud, then we would go out to a club for a bit. Well, the party was a dud. I tried to dance in the bumpy backyard on the grass, but I just wasn't feeling it. So I wanted to go out. Even if just for a half hour to dance. But David wasn't feeling good and declined to go. I said I would go out myself, but that aggravated him. So keep my commitment to exercise, or keep the peace? We went to his place and I could have done sit ups and such, but at 10:30 at night with food and alchohol on my stomach I wasn't feeling it either. So I just went to sleep with a vow that I would do an hour on Sunday.
Sunday we planned to bike ride for the hour. I was very excited about that. But when I drove my car over to David's to get a bike, my car tire was flat. So David was fixing it. And I vented my frustration, so he vented frustration and things got ugly so I walked off to walk it off.
After the walk I talked with him and we had things resolved. Until later that evening, we were out for a movie date and the subject of my flat tire came up and we started yelling at each other all over again. He turned the car back around. The date was cancelled. And now I don't feel like speaking to him.
Though he did change my tire and take my tire in to fix the flat while I was at work today.
When I woke up this morning, I started with some focusing on what's going on in my life. I like to "focus". Focusing is a practice of checking in with your body and asking it where it feels something that needs attention. I notice in Louise Hay's book she list aligments and mental/emotional causes that could trigger that physical aliment. So again, that confirms a correlation.
Anyway, I didn't feel anything is particular, but I had the sense to open Hanh's book. It always amazes me how I can open a book randomly and the page I go to can speak directly to an issue that I need to focus on at that moment. In this case, this morning I opened to "Deep Listening". pg 61.
Here is some excerpts from Deep Listening:
"There is a being call Avalokiteshvara. He is a bodhisattva, a remarkable being whose characterisitc feature is his ability to listen. He practices deep, compassionate listening. The forth traning of mindfulness is this practice of compassionate listening.
Listening is an art we must cultivate. First you have to listen to yourself before you can listen to someone else. You must not run away from yourslef, but rather be very compassionate toward yourself. ...Then when you begin to understand and love yourself, you are ready to understand and love another person.
There is pain and suffering in the other person. They should have the chance to express it, and you can transform yourself into a bodhisattva in order to listen. Knowing how to listen requires patience and compassion. And fortunately we can train ourselves to do this....You do not listen in order to judge, critise or evaluate. You listen for one reason alone; to offer the other person a chance to express him-or herself. The person is going to say things that irriatate you. He or she might express disapproval of you, heap blame on you, say things that are false. You have to be ready to listen to anything.
....Practice mindfulness of breath the whole time you are listening, and maintain this intention; " I am listening in order to make it possible for her/him to suffer less." If you can do that then negative words will not affect you. What s/he says might be wrong, it might be sarcastic, it might be intended to hurt you or to put you at fault; but as long as compasstion is alive in you, you are immunized against suffering, and that is a wonderful thing.... You actually could be the best psychotherapitst for the person you love, because you know him better than anyone. To do that, you have to take a fresh look at your view of him/her and look deeply at the siutation. .... There is a lot that needs to be done in society...but first we have to come back to our own territory and make sure that peace and harmony are reigning there."
After reading Hanh, I listened to Dr. Dryer's teaching on the Tao as I cleaned my closet this morning. Funny, I just realized there were two tasks that we important to me to accomplish before leaving for work this morning. One cleaning out my bath tub. I had some scum build up that had to go and my closet needed cleaned. It was way too messy and cluttered. I accomplished the de-scumming and the de-cluttering tasks as I listened to a more lessons on the Tao. And....what might just happen to be the subject matter? Listening. Dryer discussed how we get so we want our point to be heard so much that we don't do any listening. Often we press our point because it means so much for us to be understood. We force others to listen to our point of view when it might not have any real value for the other person to hear it. What we have to say to another might not benefit them at all. But does it really matter if he/she gets me?
Real wisdom comes from listening, not talking.
Hanh and Tao were pressing the same point this morning. Listen to yourself. Understand your self. No one has a need to. Be a compassionate listener to myself and be a compassionate listener to others. My ego just wants to be heard, but thats just not important. There is a quote that I like so much I am going to hang on my wall. "Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." Each day I want to ask myself 'what do I want to create in my life today?' Today the answer is to be a compassionate listener. I would eliminate so many temper tantrums if I could just get over the need to be heard and understood by someone else.
Then today, when I got to work, the boss informed me that from now on when I am out walking on my break that I must punch the time clock. What? Other people go out for smoke breaks, but if I walk the parking lot I have to punch out? And smokers don't? Apparently someone complained that I seem to be out walking too much and they meddled in my business. I was pissed. hufff. Okay, okay, another test in compassionate listening and keeping my mouth shut rather than make my point in comparison to the injustice of the smokers vs the walker. I can manage within the confines given me. I'm sure God will give me the grace to accomplish a great mindfulness walk on my own time.
I shall punch out and walk on. I've still much work to do with myself to become a compassionate listener at work, in relationships and first and foremost with myself.
I've got a lot of walking to do.
Silah.... Pause and think of that.
Solvitur ambulando..... now walk and solve it.

We're off to see the Wizard

It's Friday! I adore Fridays, especially when its pay day Friday! Hooray! I generally go out dancing on Friday night, but decided I will take a break from that and go out to a movie instead. The forecast in cool and windy so I know its not going to be a good day for a walk. So before my day even gets started I popped in a Quick Fix Total Body workout dvd. 10 minutes were with light hand weights, 10 minutes kick boxing moves, and 10 minutes using body strenth. I got my 30 minutes in, blogging now and then I can get ready for work. I find this 30 minutes workout is my priority every day, so in the morning I am planning my scedule of when it will take place. Now, to be so disciplined in other areas of my life. I know that will come about with a mindfulness effort.

Shanna, I'm very glad that things worked out with you the class situation and I am super excited that you are getting your own apartment. Awesome! It's not easy making changes. I keep a plaque near my mirror... a plaque that a friend gave me when I moved in this apartment. It reads "Change of any sort requires courage." You have shown such courage to move to Montana and adapt and get comfortable. You are a strong courageous woman. You are finding that strength within yourself.
You are not in 'Kansas' anymore. Dorothy felt she needed the Oz to get her home. But the announcement was 'You dare try to see the great and powerful OZ!? You cannot see the wizard. Not way, not no how!' Gee, all she had to do was click her heals together and her problem would have been solved. Dorothy was not mindful to do that....because she "wouldn't have believed it". As the Chinese refer to it as Tao... the reason your life is what it is. Why you are where you are. Well, girl you don't need the OZ, you have a great and powerful God to be mindful of. Realize that there is no place like home, but home is where the heart is. There is no one like you Shanna, no life like yours. Enjoy it where you are...this moment. Every moment. Where ever you go, there you are. And that is home within yourself.

I am happy for you, and proud for myself that you are my beautiful daughter.

Shanna, the Tao/Life/God continues to direct your path moment by moment. No need to struggle. You life Is a beautiful journey, whether it is pay day Friday or not.

Tao:

Chinese tao "way, path, right way (of life), reason."

that in virtue of which all things happen or exist


the rational basis of human conduct


the course of life and its relation to eternal truth







[

Na Na Na Nia

Today was another fabulous nia workout that was much needed and appreciated. After the run around last semester of trying to figure out the whole free credits thing I'm back at it. To make a very long and stressful story short I meet with the dean on Monday to try and drop the class that I was already kicked out of for non-payment. I was running around campus and thinking "I can not wait to get to nia". Its so relaxing. I think of it as dance yoga. Something that is just extremely peaceful. I actually like it better then yoga and not just because its dancing. Even tho that's an obvious reason. I like it be in yoga my mind easily wanders. I know that your suppose to be focusing on your breathing but your mind still goes here and there. But in nia my mind never wanders. I don't know why exactly. Even when I know the moves, this being my forth week the dances are becoming second nature. I just think about how my body feels. Mom its just so hard to explain. Me and J have experienced the wonderfulness that is nia and I highly recommend you find a class to try it out.
In other news I may have found an apartment!

My Life Would Suck Without You

It was a beautiful fall day after a major winter blast we had this weekend. I wanted so badly to get outside and walk for a half hour while the sun was shining. However, it was getting increasingly difficult to slip out from my desk, but no matter, I changed into my walking shoes and a tshirt and was ready to get outside. Then my phone rang and someone proceeded to yell at me for about 10 minutes. I was sooo angry for being robbed of 10 minutes with a bitch-out session. Well, I finally got outside for a walk and had to do 10 minutes of angry walking. Then I dedicated the next 10 to Joelle. I still felt angry and tried to think of how Joelle has been dealing with anger. Perhaps I could draw some peace from her style. Then I thought of yesterday's meditation with Dr. Dyer. Things might seem tangled up but I don't have to work out it to make things work out okay. "The Tao does nothing, but nothing is left undone." I thought the Tao doesn't work at struggling out solving problems, yet problems get solved. I felt peaceful. I finished 20 minutes of walking and had to get back into work. But at least I felt I put the frustration behind me.
When I got home from work I pulled out my "Quick Fix" yoga dvd. I bought it about a year ago, but it still remained in the sealed wrapper. I have bought several Quick Fix Dvd's. They are great for us, as they are 30 minute workout videos broken down into three 10 minute workouts. Cool. Check them out. I bought them on Ebay real cheap.

..... We belong together now. My life would suck without you. (Happens to be the song on X Factor now.)

We all need Friends and ZZZ's

First 10 minutes I dedicated to myself..especially after I realized I was mentally pounding away at my own "problems". "Why have I put on so much weight?" "How could I let myself get this big again?" "Why do I care so little that I ate chocolate again today." With the mental badgering, I realized that I wasn't solving anything with a How and Why intergation. I stopped my thoughts to be mind FULL OF THE MOMENT. The sky was beautiful blue with the slice of moon aleady beaming in the afternoon as well as the sun. The temperature was cool and perfect walking weather. At this given moment ALL IS WELL. So why the hell am I beating myself up that my girth is a bit bigger than I wish it was? For this moment right now... life is good. Silah

Then the next ten minutes went out to Joelle. I started listening to "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life." by Wayne Dyer. In the few minutes of listening he mention the Tao Chapter 37 is "The Tao does nothing, yet leaves nothing undone." Dryer said to take a walk outside (which I was) and notice the trees, the wind, everything is working perfectly and in its place yet you are doing nothing to make it happen. He used that as an example to not be controlling. Just trust things are being taken care of perfectly without my instructions...aka bossyness, bitchyness.
Then Shanna rang in on my phone and exampled about my previous post...."Shoot, Dang, Deleted". She explained how to resolved that with a 'CONTROL' AND 'z' button. Okay, so in Joelle's time I learned to just let thing unfold as they will and if I loose out on the effort I put out....just click a couple buttons to fix it....which happen to be catch some ZZZZZ's. So Joelle, if your feeling like things are going the way you want, perhaps you just need to catch some zzz's and take a good nap.
As for Shanna, my girlfriend popped outside and said, "I thought I would join you. How much longer are you going to walk?" So the last 10 minutes her and I had our own music jammin and just strudded a good walk. I like to think that means that you, Shanna, will have more friends reaching out to you. That would be nice being a stranger in your new found land.

Stellar

Today I went for a stroll up Pete's Hill. It's a nice little walk behind the library that leads you up high enough to get a nice view of the city, the mountains, and the sky. Jude and I went to Mom n Baby yoga and I decided a walk would be nice afterwards. As I was walking I smelled "roastaroma" in my mind. Roastaroma is a Celestial Seasonings caffeine free tea that is supposed to taste similar to coffee. I started drinking it after I found out I was pregnant instead of coffee. I had that mental whiff because I used to do that walk up Pete's Hill when we lived in town. I thought it was quite interesting how that walk triggered that roastaroma memory in my mind. I took special note of the mountains and the clouds. I especially love the view of the mountains completely surrounding us in the valley. I feel like the day is extra special when I remember to take note of my surroundings and feel grateful for the world we live in.

Yesterday was Halloween. I didn't exactly get my workout in. I was too busy flying around like an owl. I had a red mask and a black hooded outfit. It was quite fun to wear around. But the kids and chaos on Main street wasn't really worth it, plus I felt ackward trick or treating on Jude's behalf, especially since I can't really justify actually needing a bunch of candy. Instead we went to the Co-Op and got some real food, along with a dark chocolate and sea salt with almonds candy bar. Delish!

Today I made pumpkin bread. I'm bound and determind to bake something for the neighbor Syd. Maybe some pumpkin bread will make it over there before we eat it all. I'm not exactly sure what the constellation analogy means but Jude was wearing a star outfit today, of which he received two compliments. And at this very moment the song "Stella Seed" by Sean Hayes came on. WHich instantly makes me think of a star. Hmmm something to think about.
Stella seed

You are of the sky
You are of the sea
You are of the wind

Stella seed

Born of the sun
Born of the waves
Roll thunderous one

Rise and change

Stella of the wind
Stella of the sea
Stella of the fire

Stella seed

Solid Signs

In Thich Hanh's book "You Are Here", He has a positive affirmation to speak to yourself. "Today I am mindful to live each moment beautiful, solid, free." (That sounds like Louise Hay.) I wrote it down some time ago and was mulling it over in my mind. I was pondering what does it mean to be solid. Hanh mentions trees are designed to withstand wind. A tree will sway up top, but down in its trunk it is sturdy, solid, not moved around. He is using the anology to get out of 'up top'... get our of our head and stop over-thinking things and go with a deeper knowing. Go with our inner-knowing where decisions can be made more solid and concrete. Don't let your thoughts sway you around like the tops of the trees in wind.

Okay, so I know being solid comes from deep down.

But still, how do I live each day beautiful, solid, free?

Then when I listened to Tony Robinson's participation lesson on certainity. He mentioned that when you feel hope, or uncertainity your body is more limp, but when you feel certainity you body stands more SOLID. There is that word again... solid!

So I said today myself.

Today I am mindful to live each moment beautiful, certain, free.
Silah.

Last night out went out dancing for my excercise- at a Halloween party! Great fun indeed. I was a pirate. aryyyhhh. I love getting my exercise in by partying! Girls just wanna have fun!

Today I walked. The first 10 for Shanna and I just walked in quiet mindfulness and prayed for her. I've been taking notice of signs lately of different sorts; signs from God and the man-made signs. As I was focused on Shanna I walk infront of a sign that read "Learn to Fly Here." (I was by a small airport.) And another sign said "Full Stop Cafe." Shanna's 10 minutes were about up, but I thought to myself I want to put on one song to go out to Shanna. Pandora popped on to Micheal Jackson, "Don't stop til you get enough. Keep on with a full stroke, don't stop till you get enough." So I be-booped in my step as I walked past a sign that read "Autumn's Dance Class 2". Jazz and Yogi classes. So Shanna, it's Autumn. Keep on with a full stroke...dance it up. Don't stop till you get enough. When you get enough refresh yourself with a full stop at a cafe. Then focus on learning to fly. LOL...just sayin.

As for Joelle when I was walking and praying for her the two signs I took notice of was a sign on a building "Jeremiah Junction"

Jeremiah definition

A major Israelite prophet; also, a book of the Old Testament that chronicles his life and records his angry lamentations about the wickedness of his people.



junc·tion
   [juhngk-shuhn] Show IPA

noun

an act of joining; combining.

a place or point where two or more things meet or converge.

Then I took notice of a Subaru.

"Subaru" is the Japanese word for the star cluster Pleiades that is depicted in the Subaru company logo.

The Pleiades star cluster, also known as the Seven Sisters and Messier 45, is a conspicuous object in the night sky with a prominent place in ancient mythology. The cluster contains hundreds of stars, of which only a handful are commonly visible to the unaided eye. For northern hemisphere viewers, the cluster is above and to the right of Orion the Hunter as one faces south, and it transits -- reaches its highest point in the sky, midway between rising and setting -- around 4am in September, midnight in November, and 8pm in January.

I'm clueless if it means anything at all. Just saying it's signs that I noticed.

Silah.

Cramps!!!!

So I haven't really been doing much. Today is my wretched period. I had to leave work after only an hour and a half. Its official...I'm going back on "the pill". I cant be missing work. Unless its a fun day of course :)

for your wording pleasure

per·se·ver·ance   

1.steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.
2.Theology. continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation.



Endurance (also called Sufferance, Stamina, or Durability) is the ability for a human or animal to exert itself for a long period of time, as well as its ability to resist, withstand, recover from, and have immunity to physical trauma, wounds, or fatigue

Endurance

My word today is endurance. A little similar to perseverence. There's a theme going on. I was reading about trees and learning to communicate/being open to receive wisdom from trees. And the word for Aspen is endurance. I chose Aspen because I feel like my tree at this point in my life would be aspens. I name of the yoga studio I go to is Aspen Ark because rather than having a yard with grass she has a yard of aspens. In our own backyard we have quite a few aspens. We had a bunch of new growth this year. There are 4 taller aspens, probably at least 5-10 years old and in the center is a new baby aspen, born this year. I was guessing it would have sprung up around the same time Jude was born, so we dedicated that tree to Jude. In many cultures it is common to bury the placenta underneath a tree and the tree is often visited or consulted with to inquire about the health of the person. Since I chose to take part in placentophagy (consume the placenta) I couldn't bury it, but I still wanted to have a tree for Jude-so we chose the aspen in the center of the 4 proctector trees.

I also have an affinity with willows. Maybe because of you mom, but I have always loved willows. The word associated with willows is magic. Pretty cool.

So today I spent my 30 minutes on a beatiful walk around my house with the baby. We walked around the front and then headed into the back to walk by the creek. We walked through the beautifully illuminated field, and I just couldn't stop being in awe of the beatuy of this place. The snow peaked mountains in the distance, the yellow rolling hills, the guiding "M" that overlooks the city. I really love living here and when I see the sunset rising above the mountains, I can't help but be grateful to be alive.

There was this wonderful exercise we did in kundalini yoga yesterday. It was supposed to be beneficial for clearning away anger and burning up negativity and any weird or yucky things. We did it for 3 minutes. My yoga teacher said she did that exercise everyday for 40 days and she said it had a phenomonal affect on her life. I think I'd like to give it a try. I could just incorporate it into the daily 30. So I've been really excited about the progess of our project up til this point. We've had some lag periods where we've all kind of just stopped blogging, but we are still hanging in there and I think the physical activity has been doing good things for all of us so far. I think doing the anger burning move for 3 minutes might kick things up a knotch. All is well in my world and affairs.

Whos loves to dance? This girl!

I forgot to blog until i woke up to pee at 5 in the morning. Okay so here is what happened yesterday...
I went to yoga at the gym for the first time. About half way through I was thinking i was never going to do it again. It certainly was not restorative yoga. It was some intense Sh*t. But then I realized that is exactly why i need to do it ever week. Also at the end I felt very accomplished. http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
Then after yoga was my favorite thing in the universe...OULA! I found a website so you guys can kinda see what it is.
The other reason I have to stick with yoga is because i would have to do my own thing for an hour waiting for oula class, bc there is no way I can miss it. Alright. Well I have to work in an hour and a half...Horrah! Then its the weekend baby.

Ah shoot! Dang. Deleted . Staying Steadfast.

I was on a roll discussing steadfastness and confidence..... and all of a sudden POOOOF! It all deleted with a accidentel touch of button as I hammered away on the keyboard. I still don't know how or why it happended. I don't know my keyboard well enough. Often I'm making things pop up or disapear when I have no intention of it. Darn it...and my typing didn't auto save. Shoot. I have to remember to hit the SAVE NOW button more frequently.
Anyhow....guess I have to put into practice steadfastness and start typing all over again.
So as I was saying, before I was so rudely deleted....
For the past few weeks I have been mulling over in my mind three words.
CONFIDENCE
CERTAINITY
FAITH
I have been comparing and contrasting the meaning of these three words and pondering how they apply to my life.
It all started with a teaching on a Tony Robison cd that I was listening to on my way to work. I arrived at work just in time to step out of the car and stand in the parking lot with my car door opened and listened to Tony as he talked me through this demonstration of how to experience Certainity in your mind and body.
Don't just read the following. Stand up and participate now.

Try this:

Stand up with your eyes closed and think of something that you want to come about in your life. Now think in terms of "I hope this ______________ happens." "I really hope for this _________." I hope, I hope. I hope. I am full of hope. Think hope about this thing you desire.
As you are HOPING for this, stop and think about your body stance. How are you legs standing? What about your knees? Your head and neck? Your shoulders? How in the intensity in your hands and arms? The angle of your backbone? Take time to study your body language.

Now, Part 2

Okay, now.... while thinking of this thing that you want..... say to yourself negative things about the desire. Such as "Oh, I know this will never happen." "I can never have that." "It's just a wishful thought." ect.

Now take notice of how your body language changes? Did your shoulders drop? Did your knees change position? Do you feel more slack in your spine? Does your head feel heavier? Experience what your body is telling you now in how it responds to hopelessness.

Now, Part 3

Think of this desired thing and say to yourself, "I am certain that I have _________." "I am absolutely certain of this." "There is not a shadow of a doubt that ____________ is mine." I am completely certain. Certain. Certain. Certain. I am so sure and certain of this. It is in my life.

How did your body change it's language in response to CERTAINITY. Did your shoulders lift? Is your back straight and stiffer? Is you head held higher? Are your knees more locked in an upright stance?

The body feels hope, despair and certainity. Practice thinking thoughts with certainity. Get so use to that feeling of certainity that your body warns you when you are thinking of your desires with les than certainity.

When I went to walk David through the experiment, I kept saying "confidence" instead of certainity. Confidence was stuck in my head.
(Shewwwww.... good thang I saved my draft..... a good part of it deleted on me again. Uggghhh...this keep board keeps me steadfastly retyping. But I will get my point across! )

As I was saying, I meant to walk David through a Certainity experiement, but I walked him through the same process but it was a confidence experiment. But does it matter? What really is the difference between confidence and certainity?
And then I ask myself, why have I made the word "Faith" so obsolete in my vocabulary. I notice that I use words like certainity and confidence, in place of faith. I asked myself why I done this. Faith is still a legitamate word. For some reason its become obscure in my dilect.

con·fi·dence
   [kon-fi-duhns] Show IPA

noun
1.
full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing: We have every confidence in their ability to succeed.

2.
belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance: His lack of confidence defeated him.


cer·tain
   [sur-tn] Show IPA

adjective
1.
free from doubt or reservation; confident; sure: I am certain he will come.

2.
destined; sure to happen (usually followed by an infinitive): He is certain to be there.

3.
inevitable; bound to come: They realized then that war was certain.

4.
established as true or sure; unquestionable; indisputable: It is certain that he tried.

5.
fixed; agreed upon; settled: on a certain day; for a certain amount.


faith
   [feyth] Show IPA

noun
1.
confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another's ability.

2.
belief that is not based on proof: He had faith that the hypothesis would be substantiated by fact.

3.
belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion: the firm faith of the Pilgrims.

4.
belief in anything, as a code of ethics, standards of merit, etc.: to be of the same faith with someone concerning honesty

So the lessson of the day, stay steadfast to believe we are destined to get our heart's desire (certainity) Believe in the power of ourselves (confidence) and of God (faith) to make our heart's desires manifest.
Well, now I have to go put endurance and perservance into practice. It's 9pm and I am tired, but the whole day has passed by without me leaving the apartment. I feel no motiviation to exercise for a half-hour, but I will get on the floor and do some movement while watching tv. My last couple days of exercise were out dancin it up! I'd rather be dancing, but sit-ups and leg lifts for tonight.

Hey I have been blogging!

Damn I need to get caught up on reading the thousands of blogs that have been posted... I LOVE IT! So yesterday my 30 minutes was a little non-traditional. It consisted of a freaking out baby and me trying to calm him down until his dad got home. Then today was legit...NIA!!!! My love... It was a bit crazy today with like 5 little girls running around but it was still great. Tomorrow the plan is to do yoga and Oula at the gym. Can't wait.

Govardhan cont.

Premature on hitting the "publish post" button...anywho...I shall pray for Dan's health and prosperity. There are also parades, street fairs, and parties. The deity statues are washed in milk. I don't have any statues, or milk for that matter, but I will do some "cleansing."

I'm personally a fan of the "smudging." It's always been something that resonates with me, plus I love the smell and the way it changes the feel of a room. I really believe it can clear out stagnant energy. I had a book that described smudging as a way to open a ceremony or prayer-the smoke cleanses the negativity and it's a way to announce that we are leaving the ordinary and stepping into something special and extraordinary.

I held a little ceremony last night. Since it was the New Moon in Scorpio its a wonderful time to pay homage to Hecate-the Crone Goddess. She's referred to as the crossroads Goddess, ruler of the dark night. A friend of mine told me about the ritual one year ago. Which is when I saw the bear crossing the road. I was walking to the 3 way corner, wearing all black. It was only a couple hundred yards from our apartment. After I first stepped out the door I heard an animal in a bush. After my eyes adjusted a little more to the dark, (the New Moon is when the moon isn't visible so it's extra dark out,)I made out that it was a raccoon. I contiuned walking to the 3 way corner and saw a black 4 legged creature, huge creature, running from the 3 way point, across the road, and into the alley. At first I thought it was a dog, and then realized it was a bear. I thought it was a baby bear, then my next thought were, "where's the mama?" I got scared thinking about an encounter with her, so I ran back to the apartment. After Dan and I chased the bear down the alley in the truck, she ran up the tree. Actually we didn't mean to chase her, we just wanted to check her out, and we caught her ass up in the air with her head buried in a trash car, then when she heard us, she bolted. But I had Dan stay in the truck next to the bear up in the tree so that I could go back to the 3 way to leave my food offering to Hecate. I left it there-fish-I guess she can take the form of a cat so it's nice to leave a treat that a cat would enjoy, said a quick prayer asking her to remove all unnecessary blocks that were preventing me from continuing on my Higher Path and to open up doorways for me and to guide me on the right path. Then ran back to the apartment to meet Dan. I didn't know I was pregnant at the time.I could've never guessed that one year later, I would be on this path.

So last night, I dressed in all black ( already was wearing black pants and shirt from yoga, I just had to take off my red coat and put on my black shall,) and went to the closest 3 way corner, which is just a few steps across the street. I left my offering of fish to Hecate and thanked her for leading me to this path that I'm currently on , and to once again remove unnecessary blockages and to lead me in the right direction, which I kept feeling was actually to the right, the mountains, east.

I had read on the internet, right before I went out to leave my offering that she is sometimes called upon in childbirth. So I thanked her for my experience with childbirth and I asked her to guide me along my new journey as a mother with my baby. I asked her to lead me along the way of the Highest Path for all involved. I kept in short and sweet. Dan was waiting near by. I was scared! I had headed out in the darkness-feeling nervous about it being so dark and all the unknown creatures of the night! I heard some rustling in the tree on the edge of our property. As I was standing by the road waiting to cross, some approaching headlights slowed down, and Dan turned into the driveway. Naturally he asked what I was doing with a smelly (and I mean extremely smelly) bag of fish in my hand. I had him cross the street with me and chuck the offering into the field next to the 3 way. Being a busy three way corner, I didn't want to attract any animals to the fish only to meet their fate of getting creamed by a car flying down the road. So he tossed the fish, I said my prayers at the corner and we both returned to the warm safety of out home.

Old man winter is definitely making his way for Bozeman. Everywhere in the north, but I'm feeling it here in Bozeman. But I did some shop therapy to help me keep true to my words about winter. I made an oath to myself to not complain a single time about winter. I don't know how strict or in depth I'm going to get with that yet, i.e. I haven't decided if I can talk about the cold, ice, lack of sunshine, etc. However,bottome line is no complaining about it being winter, so depending on the context I probably won't be talking about those things either. But I do have 2 new pairs of beautiful boots that will help me to enjoy winter with warm toes. Well off to the rest of my day. I think I shall do some praying about our trip, and for my man's health and prosperity, and all of our's for that matter, and I pray that this trip planning is easy and effortless. We have everything organized and prepared with ease. Bless this day!

Govardhan

Govardhan is day four of the Festival of Lights-Diwali. Today husband's are supposed to give their wive's gifts and wives pray for their husband's health and prosperity. Dan bought me a new pair of boots last night from Costco. I think that could count. I prayed for his

Lakshmi

Happy Diwali!
I got up this morning and cleaned the house, swepted the air with a cinnamon broom. I am well prepared to recieve prosperity. Louise Hay says you can have as much prosperity as you are willing to recieve.
Diwali, being The Festival of Lights, I made a row of candles and put on Pandora "Bollywood Baby" station. I thought of how grateful that I am the God, The Holy Spirit, Jesus, Budha....the Holy forces of the universe (by whatever title our culture chooses to place on our Creator) came through to delivery me a beautiful little grandbaby boy.
There was a day when I was so full of anxiety, waiting for Joelle to go into labor. It meant everything in the whole world to me to be there when she had the baby. And well, people at work were speaking against the positive energy and saying that Joelle would not have the baby while I was there....that I should have waited. It was reported to me that every morning in morning meeting someone spoke against me. Mocking me as if wishing that I would not be there when the grandbaby arrived. I wanted to be there for Joelle as much as I wanted to be part of this awesome moment.
One day as I was praying for peace and that this anxiety would leave me, I felt compelled to go into Joelle's room and just grab one card off her deck. I did. The card read "Stop worrying. Everything is going to be fine." It was LAKSHMI on the card. Wow...I was in awe and felt reassurd that I did the right thing to travel there and be there with Joelle prior to her delivery.
Well, the hours past, the days past...and the little baby was in no hurry to come out. I kept Lakshmi card hung up in the kitchen in my view to remind myself. ...STOP WORRYING! After 9 days of waiting and trying to suppress the anxiety.... I couldn't take it anymore and I went crazy, hopeless with a freak out session. I took Lakshmi and ripped the card up. It was not true. Things were not going to be alright....things looked worse then ever. I cried most of the night, so upset. Why would God mislead me, when I felt so certain that I was suppose to fly to Montana when I did? Welllll..... needless to say. Everything was alright. Joelle started serious labor the next morning and by the afternoon beautiful Jude was here gracing us with his presence. I felt like a fool. If I could have just held out one more day, I could have avoided a freak out session. Now I know, just hang on for one more day. You don't know what is just up ahead around the corner, what the next dawn will bring.... I believe it's something as beautiful as Jude. So just hold out on the panic attacks!!! Wait for it...wait for it. Blessings are surely coming.
I have so much more to say and so little time... off to work I go. But I dressed up and adorned myself with lots of jewelry in admiration for God and a Goddess who make everything alright.
By the way, I keep a card in view.... all taped up.... It is Laksmi "Bright Future". Regardless of the damage of done in my past, it taped up, patched up, put back together for bright future.
Silah.

One more thing....

To quote Swami Bodhananda: “The message of Diwali is the victory of self-knowledge and moderation over self-indulgence and profligacy. To celebrate Diwali means to enjoy inner bliss, reduce our personal needs, light the lamp of wisdom in the community, and share our gifts and resources with the marginalized and the needy. Let this year's Diwali observance be a conscious commitment to the philosophy of 'less is more.’”

Note: prof·li·ga·cy   /[prof-li-guh-see] noun
1.shameless dissoluteness.
2.reckless extravagance.
3.great abundance.

Perseverence

I realize that I already have a previous post with the same title. I chose to do a repeat of perseverence, however, because I believe that I failed to actually explain why I chose the title "perseverence" in the first place.

It all started back in the Dancing for Birth class. The instructor spread out a deck of affirmation cards in the middle of us four ladies. She told us to pick a card that spoke to us and to create an affirmation for ourselves with that word. The first word that jumped out to me was perseverence. After initially catching my eye, I decided to glance at all the other cards just to see if any of them spoke out to me. After carefully eyeing the whole deck of cards, my eyes wandered back to that original first word-perseverence. Before my mind really had time to process the meaning of that word and why it would speak out to me and what my affirmation could be, it was my turn to share with the group. So I winged it. My affirmation was "I persevere with steadfastness and confidence." I am still trying to digest exactly what that's supposed to mean to my life and how it would benefit me to apply it. But I do know that maybe I could start affirming it and just see what changes come about.

Today is the second day of the Hindu festival, Diwali-the Festival of Lights. In honor of the Hindu New Year, I decided to take part in the tradion by cleaning my house. Because as the story goes...Laskmi comes to the cleanest homes first. I swept out the dusty, stagnant corners and washed the nooks and crannys. As I did this, I said "I am cleaning out the corners of my mind." I enjoyed all the progress I was making as Jude slept peacefully and angelically in his "race car seat" aka car seat.

Tomorrow is the New Moon. We will celebrate! Yes yes indeed.

It was also suggested by my pagan calendar (my source for the Diwali info) to purchase new clothes to wear on the New Moon. Not completely intentional, however, not necessarily by chance either, I received a beautiful new red jacket, and Judah got a green dragon costume. I was debating on whether or not to get it for him for Halloween/Samhain because I already had a costume for him, but the downfall was that it was too large. So we were cruising around Costco with the dragon hat on and everybody thought it was adorable, and he fell asleep with it on, and chewed up the tag...so we bought it! Looks like Jude might be wearing something special for the New Moon along with his mom in her new red jacket. The whole time I kept reminiscing the time I was cleaning my room and I decided to put on my red rain jacket and my red rain boots. I thought I looked so cute. I had to run and have my mom take a picture of me so we could look back and remember how cute I looked.

It was a pleasant day overall. I went to Mom and Baby Yoga at the library and did 30 minutes of downward dog and cobra for the 3 of us gals! The class is really expanding. Today she played music for the first time since I've been going and I just kept thinking in astonishment "I can't believe we've gone all this while without music." I had never even noticed it until that point- when we had the music. So I guess I can make a new saying to go along with "You don't know what you've got til it's gone," well...sometimes you don't know what ya don't got, til ya got it!".....that's all folks!

Turbo Zumba

So today after work i did a one hour class of Turbo kick and a half hour of Zumba. The zumba class is actually an hour but i left early. I don't know why i always think i like zumba. And i suppose i do but i just can not do more then 30 minutes, it just starts to bore me. It doesn't matter who the instructor is. However Turbo Kick was great. The instructor wasn't as "perky" as i like but it was a new round so she was probably just a lil off. But that is one class I will most definitely be repeating. Not sure what I'm going to do tomorrow yet. I hope you girls had a great day!

Beats Antique

Interesting enough...that is the very CD I have in my car mom! Beats Antique! It seems we're on the same link. I love those shimmy belts! I think I might take my belly dancing up a notch and invest in a coin belt.

Today I spent my 30 minutes at the hot springs. I admit it is a little slackerish, because I didn't quite get a mindful workout in, but I'm giving myself a few points for the cell rejuventation. Moving from hot and cold water to speed up my circulation and help drain my lymphatic system.

Yesterday I did "Just Dance" with Shanna for the first time. It was quite fun. Shanna kicked my booty though. I guess I've got some work to do! That's what my yoga teacher told me when she told me to squeeze my thighs and I said "I am!" I also went for a beatiful walk behind the house. The wheat stands tall and yellow. The sun was setting and the last hour of sunlight was shining bright on the field. We came upon a HUGE pile of bear scat. I mean HUGE. I had to take a picture of it, I was so impressed. Then I looked up and in the suns rays I saw a large figure standing up and leaning back and I honestly almost caused my heart to stop beating, because I thought it was a bear, looking at us, looking at his shit. But then I realized it was just a man flying a model airplane.

I like what you said about recommitting each day to blog. I am recommiting as well. 3 beats don't make an antique. That's what they say anyways. Or at least that's what I say right now right before I say Peace out, goodnight my sister and motha~!

Dance Dance Dance

Okay. So just checking in. I have been doing Nia, Just Dance, and a new thing called Oula. I have been dancing up a storm. I love Nia is like dance yoga. So relaxing.
Oula is a lot like Nia but WAYYYYYY more intense. Basically each song is a choreographed dance. The music is popular stuff like Rhianna and Britney Spears.
Tomorrow I'm going to Turbo Kick (which i miss soooooo much for Mt.p) and Zumba.
My eating habits havens been so fabulous however. Well I know it wasnt much but thats me checking in. I recommit to blog every day even if its only a sentence!

Everybody Get Crunk

I did my half-hour walk today. Nothing insightful. Just enjoyed getting crunked up to Luda, Lil Jon and such while I walked. I just did the damn thang.

So why do I feel so all alone up in hur?

The last 10 devoted to Shanna it did start to spit from the sky, but I thought of the country song my JoDee Macena. "I'm am not afraid and I am thirsty anyway....so bring on the rain."

So get ur hands in the air and swing em like ya just don't care.

Holla!

Belly Hooping

I popped in a cd that I picked up at the library. It is entitle, "Beats Antique" Tribal Derivations. Very good belly dancing music. Since Joelle was recently belly dancing, I felt the urge to pull on my coin sequined belt and shimmy around a bit. I also miss my holu hoop, which David happened to notice this morning and state that "I guess you don't use this anymore. So with a belly dancing rythym and a shimmy belt and a hool hoop, I combined it all for a fun, reguvinating half hour of my own invented belly hooping. It was fun listening to the clanky-tinkling sound of my belt while keeping up with the challenge of hula hooping.

Candle in the Wind

Today was a riding day. We rode to Jim Thorpe. It's a beautiful mountain town full of history. It's surrounded by rolling mountains referred to "America's Swiss Alps". It has lots of cute shops to browse. This time of year toursit come out of the woods for a fall festival. At 9:00am I met up with a group of riders. I was interviewed by a local AOL reporter who wanted my comments for her article on our riding group. A rather cool opportunity. In fact, the whole day was rather cool.....meaning very freakin cold! The weather woman promised some sun today, but it was a completely unsunny day. Never needed sunglasses, just my clear goggles.
The ride to Jim Thorpe was cold race around curvy roads lined with a rainbow of autumn-colored trees. We zig-zagged on all kinds of beautiful roads. After all, riding is about the ride. Not about being in a hurry to get to a destination. However, today, I just wanted to get to the destination. The cold wind was making my finger tips freeze and go numb. I felt like I have been building a snowman without gloves. I remembered how I use to put you kid's freezing hands under my armpits to warm them up. I just want to stop and shove my digits under my pits. Riding when I am freezing is not safe. I'm not as agile for handling the bike. After so many miles of curves and long past the time I first felt the urge to pee... the zen of motorcycle riding was froze out. I was actually getting 'pissed' off, because the leader was not making a stop and we had been going far too long without a pee and warm-up break. I was no longer enjoying the ride and contemplating breaking off from the group. But,I didn't want to be the wussie woman on the manly-man road trip complaining. So instead, I decided to focus on what I could enjoy about the moment...though my fingertips were numb, I could still wiggle my toes. I wanted to be mindful to enjoy the experience. I wanted to stay light-hearted. So I thought of light. A candle came to mind. I decided to be a candle. The candle was warming me. I recalled once when Joelle was my passenger and I was riding scared in the rain, she told me to visualize purple because it is stress-reliever. So I thought of myself as a purple candle. Lavander is a calming, soothing scent. I am a purple, lavendar scented candle being warmed by my own fire right now and giving off a lovely fragent aroma. It got me through til we got to a pit stop. So I could warm my hands under my pits.
When we arrived in Jim Thorpe, the traffic was overwhelming...no places to park. However, we were blessed we a guy leading up who knew how to get around the area. We had to park way up on the mountain, but nonetheless, we got a place to park and free to boot.
As we started our decent by foot down into the village, I realized that I had my workout before me. So I said what I often say when I start my dedicated workout, "This ones for the girls!". I walked from noon to 5 pm. And though it was stopping to shop and browse, believe me I got a workout out in for us. David said it was worth two days worth of workout. David had the instinct to lead us back up the mountain to our bikes via a new uncharted route. He was sure that it was going to save us steps. Well, it became a walk-a-thon.... I mean a real Walk Fest! I had to stop a couple of times to let my heart rate and breathing get back into a manageable pace. I was greatful that we had broke off from the other riders a few hours early, as I would have been embarassed being the one who had to stop and try to suck air out of a new blow-hole in the top of my head. Again, climbing that mountain I had to think about how I am a candle today. Because I really wanted to nag David's ass for making me haul my ass up the long way up a mountain to our bikes. Yet, I reminded myself that I would rather be in love, then be right.
Then, I had a flashback to a time I was so wrong and paid the physical price of pain that I had induced on Shanna. My mind went back to the Sleepy Bear Sand Dunes of Michigan. Shanna and I had to have Frank boost our butts back to the car while Joelle ran back and forth in the sand like it was track and field. It was one of the most miserable days of my life. A family vacation the was pushed way beyond my limits. Though, it was my idea to do the journey. Shanna tried to cry her way out of it, but I just wanted her to suck it up and walk. Turns out, I couldn't suck it up.
So I tried to suck it up today, and I thought of Joelle and Shanna giving my butt boosts so I could make it to my bike.
Admittedly, it was a scenic walk. But in heavy biker boots and carrying my heavy leather jacket, the walk was burdensome. We had walked all day in the cold and I stayed well zipped up, but the mountain ascent had me stripping clothes and carrying them. The bike was such a sight for sore legs. I had to do some stretching before I got on the bike because my legs were already trying to charlie-horse and shin splint.
We had a nice ride back home. I reminded myself that I was a candle in the wind to warm and comfort me. We made a stop at a gas station for hot tea. One lady walked passed us and got a chill. She said, "I can feel the cold coming off you guys." We had gotten a few comments about "It's a cold day for riding." Yep, it was an unsunny day, yet I kept my candle burning.