Solvitur ambulando

Solvitur ambulando is a latin phrase that literally means "It is solved by walking."
I like that phrase because I know I get enlightment by mindful walking.
Yesterday I did an angry walk. I was angry at David because he just didn't understand my frustration about having a flat tire. So I walked up hill. I just kept taking streets that took me further and further to higher altitude. I walked for an hour. I had to make up an hour because I didn't get my half hour of exercise in on Saturday. For that too, I blamed David. My Saturday exercise was scheduled to go out dancing. We had a party to go to and we would dance there. But if the party was a dud, then we would go out to a club for a bit. Well, the party was a dud. I tried to dance in the bumpy backyard on the grass, but I just wasn't feeling it. So I wanted to go out. Even if just for a half hour to dance. But David wasn't feeling good and declined to go. I said I would go out myself, but that aggravated him. So keep my commitment to exercise, or keep the peace? We went to his place and I could have done sit ups and such, but at 10:30 at night with food and alchohol on my stomach I wasn't feeling it either. So I just went to sleep with a vow that I would do an hour on Sunday.
Sunday we planned to bike ride for the hour. I was very excited about that. But when I drove my car over to David's to get a bike, my car tire was flat. So David was fixing it. And I vented my frustration, so he vented frustration and things got ugly so I walked off to walk it off.
After the walk I talked with him and we had things resolved. Until later that evening, we were out for a movie date and the subject of my flat tire came up and we started yelling at each other all over again. He turned the car back around. The date was cancelled. And now I don't feel like speaking to him.
Though he did change my tire and take my tire in to fix the flat while I was at work today.
When I woke up this morning, I started with some focusing on what's going on in my life. I like to "focus". Focusing is a practice of checking in with your body and asking it where it feels something that needs attention. I notice in Louise Hay's book she list aligments and mental/emotional causes that could trigger that physical aliment. So again, that confirms a correlation.
Anyway, I didn't feel anything is particular, but I had the sense to open Hanh's book. It always amazes me how I can open a book randomly and the page I go to can speak directly to an issue that I need to focus on at that moment. In this case, this morning I opened to "Deep Listening". pg 61.
Here is some excerpts from Deep Listening:
"There is a being call Avalokiteshvara. He is a bodhisattva, a remarkable being whose characterisitc feature is his ability to listen. He practices deep, compassionate listening. The forth traning of mindfulness is this practice of compassionate listening.
Listening is an art we must cultivate. First you have to listen to yourself before you can listen to someone else. You must not run away from yourslef, but rather be very compassionate toward yourself. ...Then when you begin to understand and love yourself, you are ready to understand and love another person.
There is pain and suffering in the other person. They should have the chance to express it, and you can transform yourself into a bodhisattva in order to listen. Knowing how to listen requires patience and compassion. And fortunately we can train ourselves to do this....You do not listen in order to judge, critise or evaluate. You listen for one reason alone; to offer the other person a chance to express him-or herself. The person is going to say things that irriatate you. He or she might express disapproval of you, heap blame on you, say things that are false. You have to be ready to listen to anything.
....Practice mindfulness of breath the whole time you are listening, and maintain this intention; " I am listening in order to make it possible for her/him to suffer less." If you can do that then negative words will not affect you. What s/he says might be wrong, it might be sarcastic, it might be intended to hurt you or to put you at fault; but as long as compasstion is alive in you, you are immunized against suffering, and that is a wonderful thing.... You actually could be the best psychotherapitst for the person you love, because you know him better than anyone. To do that, you have to take a fresh look at your view of him/her and look deeply at the siutation. .... There is a lot that needs to be done in society...but first we have to come back to our own territory and make sure that peace and harmony are reigning there."
After reading Hanh, I listened to Dr. Dryer's teaching on the Tao as I cleaned my closet this morning. Funny, I just realized there were two tasks that we important to me to accomplish before leaving for work this morning. One cleaning out my bath tub. I had some scum build up that had to go and my closet needed cleaned. It was way too messy and cluttered. I accomplished the de-scumming and the de-cluttering tasks as I listened to a more lessons on the Tao. And....what might just happen to be the subject matter? Listening. Dryer discussed how we get so we want our point to be heard so much that we don't do any listening. Often we press our point because it means so much for us to be understood. We force others to listen to our point of view when it might not have any real value for the other person to hear it. What we have to say to another might not benefit them at all. But does it really matter if he/she gets me?
Real wisdom comes from listening, not talking.
Hanh and Tao were pressing the same point this morning. Listen to yourself. Understand your self. No one has a need to. Be a compassionate listener to myself and be a compassionate listener to others. My ego just wants to be heard, but thats just not important. There is a quote that I like so much I am going to hang on my wall. "Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." Each day I want to ask myself 'what do I want to create in my life today?' Today the answer is to be a compassionate listener. I would eliminate so many temper tantrums if I could just get over the need to be heard and understood by someone else.
Then today, when I got to work, the boss informed me that from now on when I am out walking on my break that I must punch the time clock. What? Other people go out for smoke breaks, but if I walk the parking lot I have to punch out? And smokers don't? Apparently someone complained that I seem to be out walking too much and they meddled in my business. I was pissed. hufff. Okay, okay, another test in compassionate listening and keeping my mouth shut rather than make my point in comparison to the injustice of the smokers vs the walker. I can manage within the confines given me. I'm sure God will give me the grace to accomplish a great mindfulness walk on my own time.
I shall punch out and walk on. I've still much work to do with myself to become a compassionate listener at work, in relationships and first and foremost with myself.
I've got a lot of walking to do.
Silah.... Pause and think of that.
Solvitur ambulando..... now walk and solve it.