The following is a letter I wrote to my meditation teacher. He shared with me last week that while he was meditating with me in mind, he felt a sensation on his right hand, outer palm. According to Sahaja meditation that spot on the body represents 'evil'. He felt to tell me of this and how to meditated to rid myself of whatever the cause of it was. The following is my response to this. Note, foot soaking is what we do during Sahaja mediatation.
HI Nitin,
I pondered and practice meditation focused on ridding evil. I went through many thoughts....blaming others who I hung with for attaching evil to me. Being the "head case" that I am I had to study up on the all the definitions of evil. I felt dirty, like I have let the evil D-evil attach himself to me. (Which has been a part of my Christian upbringing, but in recent years, I pretty much doubt the existence of such a being).
I was pondering the evil and the thought came to me: 'Act like you’re slamming a door.' So I did. And I realized, I am right handed, and the force of pressure that I would use to slam a door is ....right on the part of my outer palm where you showed me that evil resides. So I made that connection that I need to slam the door on evil. Step one.
I have been listening to Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now". His book has been teaching me a lot of about Self-realization and God-realization. I came to realize that evil attachment had to do with decisions that I have been making- not necessary intentional, but just out of unawareness....and definitely out of big old ego. Interesting, I was very hung up on the word 'evil' and Tolle discusses not to get caught up on words themselves. Call it whatever name you want, but realize it is a principle that you need to come to terms with...by whatever label one places on it.
With Valentine's Day tomorrow....the whole celebration of love thing, I realized I wanted to clear myself of wronging myself and to make decision for my well- being.
Instead of doing a foot soak tonight, I did a whole body soak in the bathtub. I practiced meditation in the bathtub. Then I took a shower to cleanse and rinse. I spent much time letting the shower spray on my right outer palm. It was a good symbolic cleansing for me. Many people were brought to mind that I had hurt with my selfishness (‘evil’) decisions.
I've also faced that fact that for the most part, the negativity at work and in life in general, that I want to get away from is the negativity within me: that I am drawing it to me because of the sum total of what I have created in my life to this point.
Some years back I made a very selfish decision that hurt people that I love dearly, including myself. I have learned from Tolle that I have been unconsciously bringing bad back to myself. The truth and realization almost LITERALLY hit me over the head with it this week. What a wake call, that I have to stop these wrong (evil) choices.
On occasion, I smear my head with coconut oil since it is good for hair. I realized tonight that it was a part of my cleansing ritual...I was ANNOITING my head with oil-just as I am familiar with in my Christian faith. Interesting, I decided to research to see if anointing is part of Hindu faith. Yes, I found the following:
"In the Hindu belief systems anointment is freely practiced. To mark particular devotions, as a "consecration" to particular beliefs or as a ritualized blessing used especially to invoke auspicious beginnings,...Anointing is also used to aid persons within negative cycles—"
I love that word auspicious. I believe that tonight the negative cycles are broke out of my life and an auspicious life is “NOW”. I was going to say auspicious future. But I'm pulling out of the past and not pushing so hard into the future. I am balanced NOW.
Interesting, you know how one sleep's wrong and gets a stiff neck. I have had a stiffness in my right shoulder and I feel the soreness when I push my shoulder forward. I thought this strange, since I never had such a soreness before. I realized that I have been putting alot of pressure on myself about the upcoming months. ...all these big changes that I have to make happen. My body is trying to tell me to let off on the anxiety about it.
I wanted to share my thoughts with you and let you know that I took to heart what you revealed to me. I have experienced some self-realization. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction.
See you Wednesday,
Roselle
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